In 1994, Nasty Nas hit the earth like a comet with his classic debut album, Illmatic, which I still consider the greatest hip-hop album of all time. The self-proclaimed half-man, half-amazing Queensbridge emcee impressed with insightful streetwise poetry over vintage boom-bap beats, produced by an elite cast of producers. Illmatic was critically acclaimed, but not an immediate commercial success (it took nearly two years for it to reach gold status, and seven to earn a platinum plaque). For his second release, It Was Written, Nas (or the label, or both) was clearly focused on making a commercially successful album. He’d call on Trackmasters to bless most of the project with their glossy, radio-friendly sound, which proved to be a winning formula as the album went double platinum three months after its release. IWW also saw Nas splitting mic time with his newfound mafia boss alter-ego, Nas Escobar. On “Affirmative Action,” Escobar would introduce the world to his pretend mobster crew, known as The Firm.

The original formation of The Firm was Nas. AZ (aka, Sosa), Foxy Brown, and Cormega, which is also the roster that appeared on “Affirmative Action.” The affirmative response to the track (pun intended) and its “The Symphony” beat remix would be the spark for a full-fledged Firm album. However, before they began recording the album, a roster change would take place. As legend has it, Cormega had a contractual disagreement with Nas and Nas’s manager at the time, Steve Stoute. Their squabble would lead to Cormega exiting The Firm, and Nas would recruit his fellow Queensbridge bredrin, Nature, to replace him. The Firm would call on some production big dogs, Dr. Dre (and his apprentice, Glove) and Trackmasters, to craft the bulk of The Album. Side note: The cover artwork for The Album is a spoof of the promotional poster for one of my favorite mafia movies, Casino.

The Album was a blockbuster release that reached gold status, but the sales numbers were underwhelming for a project that featured Dr. Dre, Trackmasters, and Nas. Also underwhelming was its reception, as critics and the streets were torn on the quality of the project.

I haven’t listened to The Album in over a decade, but I remember it being mid at best. Hopefully, time has been kind to this vanity project.

Intro – Ominous music plays underneath a medley of news clips and a voice softly whispering, “The Firm.”

Firm Fiasco – Dr. Dre & Glove pick up where Trackmasters left off with “Affirmative Action,” painting another cinematic mafioso canvas via synthetic strings and a thumpin’ bassline. Sticking with the cinematic mafia theme, Nas, AZ, and Foxy substitute a conventional hook between the verses with allusions to a few narrated lines from Goodfellas (one of my all-time favorite movies; RIP to Ray Liotta). AZ kicks things off with a verse that displays his vast vocabulary, but he sounds like he’s chasing the beat (maybe if he came in when the beat dropped instead of letting half a bar waste away, he would have sounded more comfortable on the track). Nas shoots second, and he’s in his full Escobar mode (take that for what it’s worth). Foxy plays clean up and spits a verse proclaiming her extreme loyalty to The Firm: “Breed a son for ‘em/ long dick style/ swallow the enemy’s cum for ‘em.” Now that’s commitment. This was a solid way to start the album, but why the hell didn’t Nature get a verse on this one?

Phone Tap Intro – A quick skit that sets up the next song.

Phone Tap – This was the album’s second single. As the song title and the previous skit suggest, the feds have tapped Nas and AZ’s phones, and we, the listeners, get to listen firsthand to one of the duo’s conversations. For the most part, Nas and AZ (Nature also makes a small contribution) play it well, though they do lose focus a time or two (specifically Nas, who randomly feels the need to tell AZ that he’s getting high and vibing to an old Stephanie Mills cassette), and the ending was anticlimactic. I liked Dre’s slow rolling backdrop; the occasional sprinkling of that sinister out-of-key chord was brilliant.

Executive Decision – Trackmasters get their first production credit of the evening and create an elegant ambience punctuated by a sexy string loop. Nas, Nature, and AZ use it to talk their expensive drug dealer shit. I could be mistaken, but it sounds like Nature may have taken a few jabs at Jay-Z during his verse: “I had to learn not to fuck with small cats, in fake Cartiers and straw hats, stick ‘em on a mixtape, they think they all that, but just speedin’ through, never sounding reasonable.” The “fake Cartiers and straw hats” is a reference to Jay’s fits on the Reasonable Doubt album cover. “Stick ‘em on a mixtape” is aimed at Jay’s freestyle on Funkmaster Flex’s Mixtape Vol. II. The “speedin’ through” and “sounding reasonable” are shots at Jay’s early-era fast flow and the title to his debut album, respectively. I could be wrong, but I doubt it (*rimshot*).

Firm Family – Nature and Dr. Dre share the mic and talk fly shit over an infectiously breezy West Coast backdrop. Guest vocalist Traci Nelson sprinkles her pretty voice over the track’s hook, making an already pleasant audio experience even more enjoyable.

Firm All Stars – Foxy and Pretty Boy (whom I first became familiar with from his freestyle with Foxy on Funk Flex’s Mixtape Vol. II) share the mic on this one. I loved what Foxy did on her Funkmaster Flex freestyle, but she and Pretty Boy’s generic player antics and designer diction on this track nearly lulled me to sleep. The Trackmasters’ mediocre instrumental and Nas’ cheesy hook didn’t help matters.

Fuck Somebody Else Intro – A silly X-rated skit that sets up the next track.

Fuck Somebody Else – Foxy gets the first dolo record on The Album, and based on the song title, I bet you can guess what she’s rapping about. Dre & Glove interpolate The Jones Girls’ “You Gonna Make Me Love Somebody Else” for the backdrop, Traci Nelson turns their innocent chorus into complete filth, and Foxy uses her three verses to boast about giving up ass for cash and how good her pussy is. All her box-bragging does make you wonder if the nana is as ill as she says it is.

Hardcore – Trackmasters keep the low-hanging fruit sample choices coming, this time tapping Cheryl Lynn’s “Encore.” Nas sounds better than he’s sounded for most of the album, and Foxy…well, at least she tones down the raunch for one record.

Untouchable – While Sicilian Mafia music plays in the background, Escobar calls a team meeting, which quickly gets interrupted by a verse from Grand Wiz (whom I was only familiar with for the shout-out Nas gave him at the beginning of Illmatic’s “Memory Lane”). Wiz’s bars were solid, but I was more impressed by the cinematically tragic melody in the Dre & Mel-Man-produced instrumental.

Five Minutes To Flush Intro – Another skit. Sosa is in the middle of pounding something tender when the Feds come pounding on his door looking to bust him for dope. Question: If the Feds are doing a drug raid, would they make a courtesy knock?

Five Minutes To Flush – Dre & Glove remake the beat to Whodini’s “5 Minutes Of Funk,” and Dre gives Roger Troutman and his talkbox more work as they add some electronic seasoning to the hook. Nature uses the pristine funk to spin a tale about the Feds crashing his crib at 4am, hoping to catch him with his dope stash. Nate calmly paints a vivid picture of the stressful scene and adds a little humor to the storyline. This is easily one of my favorite records on The Album.

Desparados Intro – AZ gets another chance to lick his acting chops with this skit that leads into the next song. I literally LOL every time I hear Sosa say “Hector!”

Desparados – The track begins with soft Spanish guitar strums and Nas quoting one of my favorite movie lines (“Have you ever danced with the devil under the pale moonlight?” Shoutout to Jack Nicholson). Then the drums drop, and after Nas gets done reciting a mumbo jumbo refrain, Canibus emerges and continues his complete obliteration of every cameo he’s appeared on in ‘97. AZ and Nature follow with more Mafiiso propaganda, but it doesn’t come close to matching the moxie in Canibus’ bars.

Firm Biz – L.E.S. has made a production career out of using Captain Obvious-eighties samples, and this record is no exception. He taps Teena Marie’s “Square Biz” for the musical bed of what was The Album’s lead single. AZ, Nas, and Foxy continue to spew flossy mobster bars while the beautiful Dawn Robinson (formerly of En Vogue) puts a twist on Ms. Marie’s original refrain (Foxy’s dad advising his daughter to “keep the pussy tight,” but also telling her to “blaze that dick” if she decides to give up, is the wildest father-to-daughter advice that I’ve ever heard). It’s not a great record, but its glossy pop sensibilities make it a sensible choice for the lead single.

I’m Leaving – Noreaga (aka, Nore) and Nature take the listener on a riveting thugged-out adventure over the Trackmasters’ cracking drums and tense twangy guitar plucks.

Throw Your Guns – For The Album’s grand finale, Brooklyn newcomer, Half-A-Mill (RIP), teams up with fellow Brooklynite, AZ. Sosa holds his own during the middle verse (which might be his strongest performance of the night), but Half-A-Mill sounds as explosive as a twelve-gauge, leaving the Trackmasters’ hard backdrop severely damaged after letting off two rounds of heavy artillery.

After the USA Men’s Basketball Team took home a disappointing bronze medal at the 1988 Summer Olympic Games, the powers that be decided it was time to stop sending the college kids to compete in exchange for the pros. The 1992 Olympic squad, dubbed the Dream Team, was loaded with superstars: Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Karl Malone, Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, Patrick Ewing, and David Robinson (who was also on the disappointing 1988 team). Needless to say, the Dream Team smashed the competition and took home the gold medal, convincingly. Sending the NBA’s best to compete against the world would become the standard, and it was a successful formula, except for the 2004 team. Led by Tim Duncan, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Allen Iverson, and Carmelo Anthony, on paper, the 2004 squad looked built for success. But, like one of my favorite sports commentators, Chris Berman used to say: “This is why they play the game.” The same rules that apply to Dream Teams apply to hip-hop supergroups.

After hearing Dr. Dre’s underwhelming instrumentation on Nas’ “Nas Is Coming” from It Was Written, I was pleasantly pleased with the good doctor’s bounce back on The Album. His pristine West Coast sonics and the Trackmasters’ combination of low-hanging fruit eighties samples and clean interpolations wind up being a cohesively solid batch of goodies with only a few minor bumps in the road. With Dre and Trackmasters throwing a production alley-oop to a supergroup led by emcees with the lyrical prowess of Nas and AZ, one would think The Album would be a slam-dunk classic. But (in my Chris Berman voice), this is why we listen to the album.

Nature makes the most of his opportunity, and with his relaxed flow and lyrical clarity, he impresses with each of his appearances. I wasn’t expecting much from Foxy, and lyrically she never escapes the hamster wheel of poppin’ pussy for piety, profit, and Prada. The handful of guests who appear on The Album range from amazing to decent, with Pretty Boy being the exception. The biggest disappointment on The Album is clearly Nas and AZ.

Both Nas and AZ are lyrical wizards when they choose to be, but on The Album, the two never waive their magic wands. In fact, we never hear from Nas and AZ, only their alter-egos, Escobar and Sosa, who waste an album’s worth of quality production on unoriginal, regurgitated mafioso rhymes and redundant materialism worship. As creative a storyteller as Nas is, it would have been dope to hear The Album with a well-thought-out storyline and plot, which you can hear the potential of on records like “Phone Tap” and “Five Minutes To Flush.” But instead of getting a Mafia musical masterpiece, we’re left with a bunch of miscellaneous, mundane mob mythologies.

The 2004 USA Men’s Basketball Team would take home the bronze medal, which is commendable for some countries, but pathetic considering the high expectations and the talent that the US squad was loaded with. The Album isn’t a terrible listen, but thanks to Nas and AZ’s underwhelming performance, it’s bronze-worthy at best.

-Deedub
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