(Hi kids. Since I’m going in chronilogical order, this post should of gone before or after the Kool Moe Dee review (not sure which way since I’m not sure when in 86′ Kool Moe Dee was released). Enjoy, and go ahead and leave a comment below).
Beauty and The Beat – Salt ‘N Pepa share the first verse but the real star of this song is the original Spinderella. She not only displays her mediocre deejay skills, but also gets a chance to spit mediocre bars on the second verse. Fittingly, the results of this song were very mediocre.
Tramp (Remix) – The ladies provide an ode to all the promiscuous brothers. In a world where women are frowned upon and men are praised for being hoes, this song doesn’t quite work as an effective insult. The bass line underneath this effective Luvbug beat was enjoyable. Ah, I get it: win the guys over with “Push It”, and then get the ladies on your side with “Tramp”. Not a bad marketing plan, Hurby.
I’ll Take Your Man – Let me get this right. According to Salt ‘N Pepa: men are tramps for banging several women but its okay for women to take your man if you piss them off? Really? To add insult to injury, after stealing said man from said women, they have the audacity to refer to the victim of their theft as a tramp. Really? This was pretty funny and short, so it not long enough to get boring or annoying.
It’s All Right – Over an overly simplistic drum beat, Hurby, I mean Salt ‘N Pepa, spit their version of battle rhymes, which wasn’t the best idea as neither lady is remotely convincing. Salt, thanks for taking the time to let world know your government name.
Chick On The Side (Remix) – The ladies who “will take your man” throw verbal blows when they discover their boyfriends have chicks on the side (karma’s a bitch, aint it?) I’ve never heard the original version of this song and honestly I’m not dying to hear it either. The remix is enough to suffice – this was okay.
I Desire – Over a familiar beat, Hurby, I mean, Salt ’N Pepa make another attempt at a battle rap. While it’s not as bad as their previous attempt on “It’s Alright”, I’m sure MC Lyte’s not shaking in her boots.
The Showstopper – Speaking of battles: the ladies go after Dougie Fresh and Slick Rick (I’m not sure why, if anybody knows why hit me up in the comments)? Salt does her best Slick Rick impression, with terrible results, as she rehashes pieces of “La di da di”. This was terrible. So terrible it might be the worst dis song ever recorded. Seriously, it’s that bad.
My Mike Sounds Nice – You’ve heard the opening bass line used before on about a zillion other rap songs. Pepa comes out the box spitting nice lines (“if I was a book I would sell, cause every curve on my body’s got a story to tell”) and also manages to display her Jamaican roots as she does a little dancehall chanting. Nice way to end the show Hurby, I mean, Salt ‘N Pepa.
Gepetto (aka Hurby Luvbug) shows potential, and at times strokes of genius, in production and marketing on Hot, Cool & Vicious. Ultimately Hot, Cool & Vicious only contains a handful of good songs (which includes the mega hit “Push It”), and the quartet (you gotta include Gepetto) fail to hold the listener’s attention for the duration of the album. Hmmm…I wonder how a Hurby Luvbug album, written, performed, and produced by himself, would sound?