It has been said that Snoop Dogg is the most recognizable human on the planet. He became famous during his successful rap career dating back to the early nineties, but in the last ten to fifteen years, he’s become an ultra-successful businessman, transcending hip-hop and becoming quite the endorsement whore. Turn your television on any random day at any given time, and you’re guaranteed to see Snoop pitching a product. Scroll through one of the social media apps on your phone, and his face is bound to pop-up advertising something. There is not an algorithm or demographic safe from his crazily diversified endorsement portfolio. I agree that there is not another celebrity as recognizable as Snoop, but I’d be willing to bet that Shaquille O’Neal is a close second.

Shaq’s claim to fame was basketball, a sport he dominated for most of his nineteen-year professional career. He won four championships, accumulated a slew of individual accolades, and was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2016. Since his playing days, he’s had endorsement deals with major companies like Pepsi and Reebok. And now that he’s retired, when he’s not winning Emmys with Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, and Ernie Johnson on TNT’s Inside The NBA, you can catch him on a TV commercial slangin’ Gold Bond, Icy Hot, General Insurance, Pepsi, even pizzas for Papa John’s racist ass. With all his accomplishments, he’s also low-key had the most successful rapping career of any professional athlete.

During his second year in the league while still with the Orlando Magic, Shaq released his 1992 debut album, Shaq Diesel, on Jive Records. I didn’t care much for the album, but it was still a commercial success for Shaq and the label, as it would produce two gold-selling singles and become platinum certified less than five months after its release. Just over a year later, Shaq, who apparently became the unofficial fourth member of the Fu-Schnickens, would try to build on the success of Shaq Diesel with Shaq Fu Da Return.

Like its predecessor, Da Return would rely on a handful of respected producers to sonically shape the album and a slew of cameos from some of your favorite artists. Da Return wasn’t quite as commercially successful as Shaq Diesel, but it would earn Mr. O’Neal a gold plaque. What other athlete can you name with two RIAA certified albums? Definitely not Dame Lillard.

I remember the singles from the album, but I didn’t buy Da Return when it came out back in the day. A few months ago, I found a used CD copy for a couple of bucks, and the completist in me immediately made me reach for my wallet. Hopefully, this fares better than Shaq Diesel.

No Hook – Da Return begins with what would end up being the second single from the album. Rza cooks up a semi-polished version of his early dark and grimy 36 Chambers style production sound and spits the lead verse, delivered in his old manic-frantic rapping style that I adored so much. Shaq, aka Shaq Diesel, aka Shaq Fu, aka Shack Attack, aka Superman Emblem bats second, getting off a solid verse and sounds very comfortable rhyming over the beat. Then the 1996 co-cameo whore recipient, Method Man, swoops in to close things out with a satisfactory performance. The fellas claim that they don’t need a hook in-between the verses ends up working as the hook, which was kind of silly. This record has held up pretty well over the past thirty years.

Newark To C.I. – This song has all kinds of issues. Issue #1: Shaq begins the song clarifying that they are “only saying ‘funkin’ (not to be confused with fuckin’), but then you never hear the word used during the song, unless the sample of the ladies on the hook are saying it, and if they are, no one can understand that shit, so no apology necessary. Issue# 2: At the end of his first verse, Shaq tells the listener to “Prepare for the Redman,” who never shows up. God bless Keith Murray, who does show up and does a great job of trying to clean up Shaq Fu’s snafu by telling the crowd Redman couldn’t make it “due to certain circumstances.” Then, on the final verse, Shaq destroys all Murray’s repair work with his closing bar: “Newark representing lovely, Redman and the Shaq.” Obviously, this was supposed to be a Shaq/Redman duet, but why couldn’t they edit Shaq’s Redman references out in the final mix or have him redo the verse when Red failed to come through? Issue# 3: Redman might not have been able to make a verbal appearance, but he is responsible for the mid-on-a-good-day instrumental that draws blah output from our host and his gracious and slighted guest, Mr. Murray.

Biological Didn’t Bother (G-Funk Version) – The album’s lead single finds Shaq honoring his stepfather, Philip Harrison, who stepped up (no pun intended) and filled in for his absentee sperm donor: “Biological father, left me in the cold, when a few months old, I thought a child was greater than gold, but I guess not, you brought me into this world but you’re not my dad, mess around with them drugs made my moms mad, so we left you with no remorse or pity, took the first bus from Newark to Jersey City.” This song sounds strongly influenced by Scarface’s “I Feel Ya.” From the detailed storyline of his childhood, to his biological father leaving and a stepfather filling the void, to the Warren G led instrumentation that sounds eerily similar to John Bido’s work on Face’s record (which is probably my favorite Scarface record of all-time). Despite the biting, I mean, the similarities, Shaq’s sincere rhymes and the smooth instrumentation make this an enjoyable record, and the CL Smooth snippet during the hook was a nice added touch. By the way, I was today years old when I found out this was the remix, as the single/video used this instrumental. We’ll discuss the original mix in a minute.

My Dear – On the previous song, Shaq paid homage to his father, so it’s only right that his mom gets love on this track. Shaq uses the buttery Warren G produced instrumental to express his desire to find a life partner with attributes like his dear old mom (“Tall, slender, brown eyes with the jet-black hair”). Warren also chimes in on the mic as he gets off a quick eight bars that adds very little value to the song, and Shaq remixes a couple of classic Phife Dawg lines so I can resurrect my Tribe Degrees Of Separation segment.

Shaq’s Got It Made – Maybe the fact that Snoop successfully pulled off remaking Dougie Fresh & The Get Fresh Crew’s classic “La Di Da Di” made Shaq feel he could do the same with Special Ed’s “I Got It Made.” Some classics should be left alone. Fried chicken souffle? Come on, Shaq.

Mic Check 1-2 – Big Ill and Al Skratch, better known as Ill Al Skratch, join Big Shaq on this one. The threesome share the mic (pause), strategically interrupting each other and randomly finishing each other’s lines throughout, and it all sounds entertaining as hell over the smooth and darkly tinted backdrop, credited to The LG Experience and LoRider (who were also responsible for providing the soundscape for Ill Al Skratch’s debut album, Creep Wit’ Me). It’s easily my favorite song on the album.

My Style, My Stelo – Redman finally makes good for ghosting Shaq on “Newark To C.I.” as he joins Shaq and Erick Sermon for this cipher session. E-Double gets off the best bar of the entire album (“My style is sharper than a razor blade dressed in a black tuxedo”), but its not enough to overcome Red and Shaq’s underwhelming output or E-Double’s lifeless backdrop.

(So U Wanna Be) Hardcore – Shaq uses his platform responsibly by making this stop the violence/gun control record. Chyskillz provides a warm, blunted melodic bop, laced with a clever Biggie snippet on the hook, and Shaq does a nice job of keeping his rhymes from sounding like a preachy PSA.

Nobody – Erick Sermon loops up Steve Arrington’s “Nobody Can Be You” for Shaq to celebrate the fearfully and wonderfully way God made him. And he makes sure to shoutout Pepsi for the third time tonight (see “My Dear” and “My Style, My Stelo”).

Freaky Flow – I had no idea who Mr. Ruffneck or General Sha were before hearing this joint. Apparently, they made up (or were a part of) a group called Missing Link, and Shaq invites them to rap and chant, respectively, on this record. All three parties turn in serviceable performances, but I found the tough drums, warn bassline, airy melody, and slick horn loop in Chyskillz’s instrumental more interesting.

Biological Didn’t Bother (Original Flow) – As promised, the O.G. mix of the lead single that I’m sure I’m not the only one who didn’t know was the original mix. The LG Experience and LoRider put a creamy and glooming melodic twist on the lead single, which is quite the contrast to Warren G’s pristine instrumentation on the G-Funk Remix. I think I like them equally.

Stand & Deliver – Oh, how I miss the days of buying a CD, reading the track list on the back jewel case panel, only to later listen to the album and discover there’s a hidden track not listed in the track listing. It used to feel like receiving a surprise gift. And if that extra track was good music, the surprise was even better. Thankfully, “Shaq Diesel” (which sounds like it could be a leftover from the Shaq Diesel sessions) features a high-energy instrumental backed by a high-octane hook (no pun intended). Mr. Diesel himself also does a solid job on the mic, and of course, he gives Pepsi a closing shoutout.

As I mentioned during the opening of this write-up, I wasn’t a fan of Shaq’s debut album, Shaq Diesel. Jive billed it as a blockbuster release, pairing the NBA’s hottest new player turned rapper with a few respected hip-hop producers and cameo appearances from some of the label’s hottest hip-hop acts. The album was filled with gimmicky fluff and had no real direction. While a few of the songs worked, most of the production was lackluster, and Shaq sounded like an overgrown puppet spewing Erick Sermon, Phife Dog, and others written thoughts. But Shaq would rebound nicely. *rimshot*

On Shaq Fu: Da Return, Shaq does a decent job balancing braggadocios bars and lighthearted rhymes with personal perspectives and conscious content. He shows vulnerability (“Biological Didn’t Bother” and “My Dear”), touches on self-pride (“Nobody”), gets into his social commentary bag (“Hardcore”), but still leaves room to have fun and talk his shit. Shaq will never be on anyone’s top ten list, but he sounds more polished on Da Return than on his previous album. Based on some of the personal material, I’d be surprised if Shaq had ghost riders this time around, but if he did, they did a masterful job of customizing the bars to fit the big fella’s image. Along with Shaq’s rhyming, the production also improved. Everyone who produced a track on the album that is not a part of the Def Squad, serves up a minimum of moderately dope music to support the Diesel one’s rhymes.

When it’s all said and done, Shaquille O’Neal will forever be remembered for his hall-of-fame basketball career. Even though the man has sold millions of albums, most will forget or never know about his successful rap career. It will be a footnote on the seven-footer’s illustrious timeline, even though Da Return was a decent listen from my favorite era of hip-hop. It’s far from essential listening, but well worth the three dollars I paid.

-Deedub

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