Time Is Illmatic

Candell Manson, who’s rap moniker Candyman is derived from a combination of his first and last name (how clever) is a west coast rapper who experienced his 15 minutes of fame back in 1990. Candell was introduced to Dr. Dre by a mutual friend Sir Jinx (of the Lench Mob), which led to him producing a three song demo for the good doctor (which I would be very interested in hearing if anyone out there in cyber land has a copy). From there Candell went on to work with fellow left coast rapper Tone-Loc and release an ep Hip-Hop Addict that only he and his mama ever heard.   Candell would soon expand his fan base after inking a deal with Epic and releasing his major label debut Ain’t No Shame In My Game in 1990. Candyman (along with friend Johnny “J” and, the Candyland band) would produce every track on Ain’t No Shame In My Game, which would eventually go on to earn Candy a gold plaque.  Epic did allow Candy to release a sophomore effort (Playtime Is Over), which failed miserably, subsequently hurling Candell to the obscure world of independent releases and ending his 15 minutes of fame at 9 minutes and 54 seconds.

Now, don’t get it twisted.  Candyman worked with Dr. Dre, but Ain’t No Shame In My Game is nowhere near being a gangsta rap album or even remotely hardcore. Instead, Candell chose to take a gentler approach and focused on the ladies. And if you haven’t noticed I don’t menstruate or wear heels.

But there were a few songs I remember liking, if only a little bit. Plus it was only a dollar, so what the heck.

Ain’t No Shame In My Game (Intro) – Sounds like a poor man’s poor man’s take on the game show skit De La Soul’s used throughout their debut Three Feet High And Rising, only it completely sucked.

Candyman – This one starts out accapella with a female vocalist (who can actually sing)singing cappella before the instrumental drops and Candyman begins his quest to gain a larger following of fans in heels than LL.  Although the vocalist can sing the chorus begins to grade on the ears as she continuously begs Candyman to be her sugardaddy.  At least when LL decided to sell out he had charisma that ladies would actually be attracted to.

Don’t Leave Home Without It – This is a public service announcement.  Candyman spends three verses explaining to the listener the importance of using protection (specifically in the form of a condom) to avoid STDs and having blind illegitimate kids with an overweight crack smoking baby mama infected with syphilis. Don’t you hate when that happens?  Candyman’s flow is suspect but the instrumental was decent. I thought vocal sample used during the hook was pretty clever as well.

Knockin’ Boots – This was Candyman’s first single and only hit (if only a mild one).  Tone Loc opens this one up informing the listener right off the bat that this is dedicated to the ladies, so you can’t be mad if you’re disappointed after choosing to stick around and listen after the warning was issued.  I’m somewhat of a  puppy dog when it comes to my hip-hop, so I personally enjoyed Candyman’s soft laidback instrumental, more so than his cheesy lyrical contribution.  At least his flow sounds better than it did on the previous two songs, and he might have actually managed to impress a few ladies with this one.

Melt In Your Mouth – This was the second single released from Ain’t No Shame In My Game, to let his would be victims know the Candyman’s order of operation: after he knocks your boots, he’s gonna melt in your mouth. How romantic. Candy shows he has a sense of humor as he starts this one out by dedicating it to “all the suckas out there who thought he was soft when he dropped Knockin’ Boots”, before he let’s the listener know this one is actually for the ladies as well (in a genre where artist take themselves way too serious, it’s refreshing to hear a guy poke fun at himself).  I absolutely hate when rappers repeat the same verse in a song, and our host is guilty of that sin on this one.  The instrumental was enjoyable in the same puppy dog manner as the previous song, which Candyman tends to sound right at home over.

Playin’ On Me – I really like Candyman’s instrumental  on this tale of two lovers who catch each other cheating.  The added horns and Ice Cube vocal sample during the hook were a nice touch too.

Today’s Topic – After a pointless skit that includes an interview with a few imaginary emcees, Candyman, for the first time of the evening, deviates away from his favorite pastime, to defend his hip-hop brethren’s collective freedom of speech. You may have forgotten, but their was a time in hip-hop that rappers lyrical content was under intense scrutiny, which when compared to the stuff these kids spew out nowadays, 2 Live Crew’s raunchiest song could go on a Disney movie soundtrack.  This was far from great but it was a nice change of pace.

The Mack Is Back – Candyman should never rap over uptempo instrumentals.  Never again in life.  It’s bad enough he sounds like he’s reading from a script, but to add insult to injury he has no breath control. On the bright side, if you own this album and were planning on making sloppy joes, you can save yourself a few bucks by substituting the manwich mix with Candyman’s flow on this one.  It’s going to be a challenge listening to the rest of this one (*sigh*).

Nightgown – Shoot me now.  Please?

Who Shakes The Best – Candyman and crew take on the old school girl bit/game of the same name and make a rap song out of it.  Yeah, it sounds worst than it…sounds.

Keep On Watcha Doin’ – Pretty please?

5 Verses Of Def – I remember loving this song back in the day, when I would listen to my brother’s cassette version of Ain’t No Shame In My Game (and probably the only reason I spend a buck on this crap in the first place).  While Candyman sounds several degrees better than he did on the majority of Ain’t No Shame In My Game (or maybe he just sounds better because I know this is the final song and I’m almost done with this dreadful assignment) the real reason I dug this one back in the day was for the instrumental, which still sounds good today.  I’m still trying to figure out the meaning of the song title since he only spits two verses. Then again, who cares. This one is a wrap.

Dude, that was painful.  I remember at least partial enjoying a few of the songs on Ain’t No Shame In My Game, largely do to Candy’s instrumentals (which with a tweak here and there, I believe he could have parlayed it into a successful production career).  Those same few instrumentals are still enjoyable, but his lack of charisma and unpolished rhyming ability leaves a huge void that I was able to overlook in my adolescence but my adult mind won’t allow.  But hey, I’ve blown a dollar on worst.

-Deedub

For those keeping order at home, this one should go after We’re In This Together. This one has been in my collection for a while but for some unforseen reason got left off my spreadsheet when I was chronicling my collection by release date.  Proof that even hip-hop junkies make mistakes.

As the eighties came to an end and the nineties rolled in, hip-hop started to move away from its light-hearted party rhymes, as many new artists took on a more militant/black consciousness approach. Many from this new crop of artists followed, or at least took to some of the teachings, of the Five Percent Nation (which was founded by Clarence 13X, former member of the Nation of Islam and follower of Malcolm X). Which reminds me of an article in The Source back in the day about how the Five Percent Nation was influencing hip-hop artists. Pretty interesting read, but I digress.

Birthed out of this Five Percent hip-hop movement came a trio out of Trenton, NJ, which called themselves The Poor Righteous Teachers, which comes from the Nation of Islam teaching that 85% of the people are blind to the truth, while 10% know the truth but teach a lie for personal gain, and the remaining 5%  know the truth and do not subscribe to the teaching of the 10%, thus the Five Percent Nation, andthe poor righteous teachers. While I don’t subscribe to that doctrine, it does make for bad ass name for a rap group. Made up of lead emcee Wise Intelligent, hypeman Culture Freedom, and the deejay Father Shaheed, the Poor Righteous Teachers hit the scene in 89′, releasing their first single “Time To Say Peace” before releasing their full length debut album Holy Intellect
Holy Intellect on Profile Records in early 1990.

Ironically the majority of Holy Intellect was produced by Tony D (RIP), who happens to be white. Contradiction, much.  Holy Intellect did earn the trio a gold plaque and a ton of critical acclaim, which PRT was able to parlayed into an additional three albums before disbanding in 1996.  Wise Intelligent is still recording and releasing albums (at least one which I’ll cover in the very far off future) even as recently as April of this year.  The guy doesn’t look like he’s aged a bit since 1990; I have a sneaking suspicion he is the real life black Benjamin Button.

Can I Start This? – This one opens with Tony D asking Wise Intelligent if he can spit some of his rhymes, to which Wise hilariously gives the approval for Tony to “kick his rubbish” on the mic. Wise, being the gentleman that he is even lets Tony bat first over his funky instrumental, dropping non-sensical rhymes, while still managing to sound slightly entertaining in the process. Wise, is up second and makes rapping sound easy while simultaneously making Tony sound like a rookie. Oh yeah, Culture Freedom gets the final first just to remind the world why he’s Robin to Wise Intelligent’s Batman. Even with Culture’s sub par contribution, it was nice to see all parties involved having fun in the process (definitely a missing quality from a lot of hip hop today). This was a nice start to the evening.

Rock Dis Funky Joint – I’ll start this off by saying Tony D’s instrumental (which samples WAR’s “Slippin Into Darkness” and James Brown’s “Funky President”) is hands down one of the top 10 hip-hop instrumental of all time. Yes.  It’s that good.  Wise sprinkles his Five Percenter tinged doctrine over, what feels like, 5 verses (which is not a complaint), riding Tony D’s instrumental like a cowboy in a saddle. And Culture Freedom?  He’s left to recite the song title during the hook and at random points during the song, which isn’t all bad since that’s the line most people will remember from this song. Even with the catchy hook and Wise’s solid performance, Tony D’s instrumental is the clear winner here.  Classic.

Strictly Ghetto – And just like that, Holy Intellect looses all its momentum.  Tony D’s instrumental sounds like what a bottle of coke would taste like after the top is left off for 2 weeks. Wise gives it the old college try, mixing boasts, his religious philosophies, and battle rhymes (even taking a shot at YZ), but still can’t manage to make this one sound good.

Holy Intellect – Okay, now this is more like it.  Tony D provides a much better instrumental than the one on the previous song. Meanwhile, I think I just had an epiphany: if you were to mix and match any of Wise’s verses on the first four songs with any of the instrumentals on the first four songs you would get the same results. That’s not meant to be a compliment or a diss, just my assessment, so take it for what its worth. And just in case you didn’t know the name of the crew you were listen to, you will by the end of this song, as Wise references “Poor Righteous Teachers” or “PRT” way too many times during this song.  I didn’t keep a running tally but it had to be somewhere in the thousands.

Shakiyla – A fly love song.  You may remember the second coming of this song from PRT’s second release Pure Poverty (“Shakiyla (JRH”)), which has a much rougher and angrier sound than it’s predecessor. For the original Tony D samples the same Zapp sample (“Be Alright”) that many other rappers would go on to borrow, but probably most famously used for 2pac’s “Keep Your Head”. Wise is in complete lover mode,  as he slows down his flow and drops some pretty nice love poetry, managing not to sound corny in the process.  This was pretty nice.

Time To Say Peace – Oh, my comment about mixing and matching the verses and instrumentals?  It applies to this one as well. The mix in of Soul II Soul “Back To Reality” towards the end was a nice touch.

Style Dropped/Lessons Taught – Culture Freedom must have had to work the night this one was recorded since Tony D fills in as resident hypeman, adding an occasional adlib here and there so the listener wouldn’t think Holy Intellect was a Wise Intelligent solo album. Over an average Tony D instrumental Wise delivers a pretty solid performance before completely obliterating the track with his final verse. Overall, this was a decent listen.

Speaking Upon A Blackman – Over a pretty fresh Tony D canvas, Wise gets on his soapbox to preach about the tricknology fed to the black man by the devil  (in Five Percenter lingo devil translates to the white man ).  Am I the only one that finds it interesting that such a pro-black group would have a devil white man produce the bulk of their album, including one titled “Speaking Upon A Blackman”? Hmm…interesting.

So Many Teachers – Wise uses this one to call out all those he perceives as false teachers, and listed the qualities that define a solid teacher as well.  Tony D’s instrumental while not great in itself works great with the content of the song (if that makes any sense).  Kudos, to Wise for sticking with a theme on this one.

Word From The Wise – The only instrumental that Tony D did not produce on Holy Intellect uses a very popular (in hip-hop at least) James Brown sample, courtesy of some dude named Eric A “I.Q.” Gray.  It was probably wise (no pun intended) to have Tony D sit out on this, so Wise’s declaration of having “no blue eyes or blonde hair”on his team could ring true, at least for the length of this song.  Wise’s tongue sounds as nimble as Cassius Clay’s feet in his hey day over this instrumental, as he “builds”, dropping some pretty insightful lyrics.  You will not catch everything Wise is relaying on the first listen (on any of the songs on Holy Intellect for that matter), as I ‘ve listened to this album several times over the years and always decode a new lyrical mystery.

Butt Naked Booty Bless – I don’t really know what they were going for on this one. It sounds like they may have been going for a dance hit that the listener would initially be drawn to by the beat, hoping the lesson in the song would sink in later.  If that was the plan they definitely weren’t successful.  That said, the song was decent.

Poor Righteous Teacher – Wise saves his best performance for last as he’s in complete battle mode and delivers 3 hungry verses over a sick Tony D instrumental. As the song fades out Culture Freedom sounds like a little brother whose big brother just knocked out the neighborhood bully on his behalf, teasing his fallen rival as he hovers over him. And cut.

Holy Intellect is a decent debut from the Trenton Trio. While only a few songs would
qualify as really good/great, the majority of the album falls in the decent to good scale, with a few outright mishaps. Wise proves that he is a more than capable emcee.  My only issue with Wise is his content rarely strays away from his five percenter rhetoric, which over the length of 12 songs tends to become redundant and sometimes, depending on my mood, annoying.  Man is full of contradictions, so I can look past the fact that the “gods” have a “devil” handling the majority of the production duties, bringing truth to the age-old adage that opposites attract.  The fact that Holy Intellect includes one of the greatest hip-hop songs off all time should hold some weight too.

-Deedub

The Cold Chillin’ imprint was a prominent label during the golden era of hip-hop. Home to many of the emcees who made up the legendary Juice Crew (which should come as no surprise since Marly Marl was the founder of the crew as well as the label), and responsible for several classic releases during that time frame.  Amongst the more notable releases, there were also a few obscure ones. Enter Grand Daddy I.U.

Hailing from Long Island, NY Grand Daddy I.U. got his break after Juice Crew member, Biz Markie was impressed after hearing his demo.  This impression would lead to I.U. doing some ghostwriting for Biz and Roxanne Shante, but more importantly, to I.U. getting his own recording deal with Cold Chillin’.  I.U. released his debut album Smooth Assassin in 1990 under Biz Markie’s tutelage, who would also produce the entire album. While Smooth Assassin didn’t move a ton of units, it was pretty well received by the heads.

After all, obscurity doesn’t alway mean inferiority.

The U Is Smooth – Daddy U starting thing off with a mellow Biz Markie instrumental that samples from the  same Grover Washington Jr. song “Hydra” that Black Moon would later utilize on “How Many Emcees”.  While the Beatminerz interpretation was a lot darker and harder, Biz’ take matches the laid back mood our host is trying to create (I love the saxophone sample added during the hook). Kudos to I.U. for being brave enough and confident enough in his own ability to start things off so subdue, and effectively living up to the song’s title.

Pick Up The Pace – As if he heard my comment on the tempo of the previous song, Biz ups the bpm’s a bit on this solid instrumental that I.U. sound right at home on. Two for two, not a bad start to tonight’s proceedings.

Something New – I don’t know if I like the instrumental (that samples James & Bobby Purify’s “I’m Your Puppet”) or if I’ve just learned to tolerate it. I do know for a fact that I absolutely hate the vocalists (Desiree Price, Toni Rolle, and Raezia Rolle) on the hook. Regardless of how I feel about the rest of the song, there is no denying I.U’s lyrical ability, which is on full display on this one.

I Kick Ass – This might be my favorite I.U. song of all time (not that there is much of a catalog to choose from, so take it for what it’s worth).From the slick instrumental, the Richard Pryor soundbites, and the lyrical dexterity shown by I.U; this one is firing on all cylinders.

Mass Destruction – Mass destruction has never sounded so beautiful as I.U. delivers another mellow blow over a smooth Biz Markie instrumental. This was sick.

Gals Dem So Hot – Uh, I think you’re smart enough to figure out what this one is about.  I.U. does pull out his raggamuffin style on this one, but that still doesn’t make it worth listen to more than once.  Next…

Girl In The Mall – Over a simple Biz Markie drum beat, Daddy U spits one long verse about a  beautiful girl named Kenya, that he met while shopping at the mall.  I.U. paints a vivid and pretty entertaining picture, even if at certain points the content reaches porn levels.  Seriously, some of I.U.’s lyrics on this one would even make 2 Live Crew blush.

Kay Cee Is Nasty – I went into this thinking this was an ode to I.U.’s deejay’s skills, but based on the soundbites laced throughout this is one it’s more of a dedication to his deejay’s sexual prowess. Weird, much.

Nobody Move – I.U. puts together a detailed story about a bank robber who’s string of crimes temporarily allow him to live like a baller, but  things quickly come crashing down as he lands himself  behind bars. Biz Markie’s instrumental is a decent backdrop for this well executed cautionary tale.

Dominos – More quality battle rhymes provided by I.U, but at this stage into Smooth Assassin they don’t hit as hard.  You can probably trace the cause of that back to the bland Biz Markie instrumental, though.

Behind Bars – Biz’s instrumental sounds like something he would rap over himself. Or better yet, something I.U. would write for Biz to rap over himself.  This kind of works as a companion piece to “Nobody Move” and would have made more sense to place it right after it in the album sequence (not that the song is good or anything, it just would have made more sense). We do get to hear Biz kick a little beatbox right before it fades out, if that’s any consolation.

Soul Touch – This was decent enough.  Wait, did he really just rhyme wrist with penis? WTF?

This Is A Recording – I.U. invites guest Ivan Rodriguez into the studio to play keys on this one, as he slows the pace down a bit and kills his adversaries so softly on the mic even Lauryn Hill would be impressed.  I.U’s comment about sampling James Brown was mildly comical and true.  This was an enjoyable listen.

Sugar Free – I believe this was the only single released from Smooth Assassin, which uses Juicy’s “Sugar Free” sample (that was also used on AZ’s only most succesful song “Sugar Hill”).  Daddy U lets invited vocalist Mary Brown carry this song, as he only contributes one verse (which includes his comical line “give me head and a whole lot of freedom”) and gives her the spotlight, which she in turn does a commendable job with (miles ahead of the atrocity the vocalist on “Something New” rendered). “Sugar Free”  was definitely created to give Smooth Assassin a commercial appeal, but it still manages to maintain some sense of street cred.

Phuck ‘Em Up U – Biz uses the same sample that was later made popular by Lil’ Kim’s “No Time”, for the instrumental, which  Daddy U uses to spit one verse before he starts giving shout outs…

Shout Outs –  That merges into this.  I personally found it interesting he waited until he was half way through his list of shout out recipients before he gives one to his baby girl and wife (whose name is curiously enough, Kenya?  Could it be the same Kenya that worked at the mall?).  There is really no justifiable reason for a song consisting of just shout outs to even exist, yet alone gon on for nearly three minutes.

For the most part,Smooth Assassin lives up to its title.  Most of Biz Markie’s production consist of smooth laid back instrumentals that I.U. uses to verbally dismantle any would be competitor. At moments some of I.U.’s boast ring hollow (especially during the songs on the latter end of the album), and a few of Biz’s beats fail him as well, but overall this was an enjoyable listen that lives up to its title.  I’m sure Lee Harvey Oswald and John Wilkes Booth would applaud I.U. for his execution on this one.

– Deedub

This is the fourth adventure in the LL Cool J series. Speaking of adventures, his previous effort (Walking With a Panther) was quite the rollercoaster ride, as Cool James attempted to satisfy everyone, which more so than not will end with mixed, if not underwhelming results, which also rings true for that effort as well.  The streets were talking.  Many thought LL had gotten too soft and weren’t sure if the emcee who stormed on the scene with “Radio” still had the fire within to produce quality music.  With his back to the wall, LL was out to prove the world wrong.  That last bit was a little overly dramatic but you get the point.

LL recruited one of the most respected hip-hip producers in the game to handle all of the production on Mama Said Knock You Out. The album was well received, both critically and commercially, as the title song earned him a Grammy for Best Rap solo, and the album went on to move over 2.5 million units, which gave Cool James enough cheese to buy his soul back from the devil.

At least, temporarily.

The Boomin’ System – By this point in his career there was absolutely no need for Cool James to waste time on an intro, and wisely he doesn’t. Instead our host jumps right into to things with a bangin’ joint dedicated to his boomin’ system (or for the ebonically challenged: his extremely loud stereo system). Marley Marl provide a sick backdrop for LL to lean back on and ride to perfection. I swear I’ve heard a mix of this song with the Heineken line unedited. If anyone has info on that, please leave proof in the comments section.

Around The Way Girl – What would an LL album be without a song dedicated to the ladies (you could argue that after Mama Said Knock You Out there wouldn’t be enough material to complete an album since the majority of his catalog after this one consisted of songs catering to his female fan base. After all, ladies love this guy). Before Mr. Smith completely sold his street cred to the pop devil, there was a time when the softer Cool James was still respected by fans with testicles. I think its safe to say this is a classic. Eventhough  “I need Love” was the O.G. of love rap songs, this was definitely the more quality of the two.

Eat Em’ Up L Chill – Mr Smith waits until the third song into the album to spit that fire all the b-boys were waiting for. Marley provides a banger of an instrumental that Uncle L completely obliterates with his magical wand. Or spike.

Mr.Good Bar – Adding to his list of aliases, our host spends the length of three verses trying to get into the object of his lust’s affection’s panties (and/or mouth). Marley’s instrumental reminds me of the one used on Kane’s “Raw”, which should come as no surprise since he produced that track as well. While LL’s rhymes and Marley’s instrumental are both technically sound, this song only registers as decent, in my opinion.

Murdergram – When your on top everybody want to knock you out. In 1990 LL was definitely a huge rap star at the pinnacle of his rap career. Over a decent Marley instrumental Mr. Smith spits a one verse wonder to remind all doubters and haters (ie Ice-T) that he still can hold his own on the microphone.  The Arsenio Hall reference made me chuckle; haven’t heard that name in a long time. Well done, Cool James.

Cheesy Rat Blues – I like to refer to this one as a modern-day Job story (as in the bible character). Over three verses LL share a story of going from riches to rags and how people change during the journey.  Marley’s instrumental works very well with Mr. Smith’s content.  I wasn’t a huge fan of this song in the past but today it worked better than I remembered it.

Farmers Blvd. (Our Anthem) – LL gives the homies from his old neighborhood a chance to get on the mic. After he uses the first verse to explain the concept of this song, he then steps a side to let his old pals, Bomb, Big Money Grip, and Hi-C (although the liner notes list him as “HIC”, and it’s not the same Hi-C that rolled with DJ Quik’s crew) each get a verse to show the world why they never were able to establish successful careers as rappers. To add insult to injury, LL returns for the final verse and spits one of his weaker performance on the album, but it’s still sounds miles ahead of his invited guests.  I’m assuming Marley knew what LL’s boys would sound like on the mic and didn’t want to waste one of his good beats on a song that would be ignored by most listeners after one listen, thus the stale instrumental provided. This was very skippable.

Mama Said Knock You Out – This is LL’s biggest hit without question, and rightfully so.  While LL does a good job of “beating the beat like a skull”, Marley’s instrumental is the real star on this one (I love the eerie choir chant vocal sample spread throughout the song). Classic.  If you don’t know you better ask somebody.

Milky Cereal – This might be one of the more clever song concepts in Cool James’ lengthy catalog. He spins a cereal metaphor throughout three verses describing his lady friends Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms, and Pebbles, who each get a verse.

Jingling Baby (Remixed But Still Jingling) – The original version was included on Walking With a Panther. LL’s uses the same lyrics as the original mix but Marley’s instrumental gets a complete makeover and accomplishes exactly what a remix should:make the song sound better. Nice.

To The Break Of Dawn – Many may have forgotten (or never knew) that Mr. Smith has had quite a few beefs with his contemporaries throughout the years. Way before his feud with Canibus (or Jay-Z) LL was at war with Kool Moe Dee, Hammer, and Ice-T, and they each get a verse on this one, and each of them gets ripped a new asshole in the process (with Ice T getting the worst of his wrath as he walk away with a dook shoot the size of the Grand Canyon). LL might of lost the battle with Canibus (which is open to debate) but he definitely murdered the burnt-up french fry, his old gym teacher, and the hip-hop racoon on this one.

6 Minutes Of Pleasure – After committing three counts of premeditated murder on the previous track, Mr. Smith get back in touch with his sensitive side and provides another one for the ladies. After all, the ladies love Cool James. Marley’s instrumental was enjoyable which may or may not allow you to look past LL’s lazy rhymes on this one.

Illegal Search – This is dedicated to the po-po trying to lock a brother up out of spite and jealously. Oh, and because some of them are racists. Marley’s New-Jack swing instrumental was bearable, but LL’s smooth wordplay was the real winner on this one.

The Power Of God – Um, yeah. Nice sentiment but poor execution. And G is the 7th letter made, just in case you didn’t know.

It’s amazing to me how a chip on a man’s shoulder can bring out the best in him. Mama Said Knock You Out is without question LL’s finest hour and most complete album to date (I say this with confidence, even though I haven’t listened to any of his albums at length after 14 Shots to the Dome, but have heard enough from each of them to stand firm on that statement. I do own them all, though, so stay tuned).  There are a few bumps in the road but LL’s undeniable microphone abilities coupled with Marley Marl’s chiseled production, for the majority of the journey, lessen the discomfort of the minor potholes. Kind of bitter-sweet as Mama Said Knock You Out kind of marks the beginning of the end for the hungry LL that still had street cred.  When they reminisce over you, my God.

-Deedub

For those of you following (chronologically) at home, insert this one after Ice-T’s The Iceberg/Freedom Of Speech album.

Seminar is the second and only album from Seattle bred rapper Sir Mix-A-Lot that I own.  I’ve never heard this album in its entirety, but I do remember a few of the songs from this album. So, when I recently ran across this at the local used book store for a buck, I figured I’d splurge a little.

Sir Mix-A-Lot will forever be known as the rapper that created “Baby Got Back,” a rap song so popular even catholic monks are familiar with it, and nuns worldwide can recite the lyrics verbatim at karaoke. Most of the world doesn’t know (or doesn’t remember) the man released two albums prior to Mack Daddy that were both pretty successful in their own right.  His debut album Swass (which is an acronym for “Some Wild Ass Silly Shit”) was released in 1989 on Rick Rubin’s Def American Recordings label (that he formed after leaving the Def Jam empire he help build) and went on to earn himself a platinum plaque, largely do to the hit single “My Posse On Broadway.” Like “Baby Got Back,” “My Posse” was also a catchy, playful, unthreatening rap song that maintained its street cred, though it never hit as big as the former. Mix-A-Lot returned in 1989 and released Seminar, which went on to earn a gold plaque to sit next to his platinum. Like Swass, the success of Seminar was largely based on a few songs in the same vein as “BGB,” that will get to a little later.

Props to Mix-A-lot for writing, producing, and programming the entire album. 

Maybe I should listen to the album before I hand out props.

Seminar – Mix-A-Lot waste no time getting the title song out of the way. Over a simple but effective uptempo instrumental, he’s out to prove that Seattle can hold it down on the mic, and for the most part he succeeds.  More importantly though, I discovered where one of the vocal samples from his biggest hit (“Baby Got Back”) came from  (“little in the middle but she got much back”).  Decent start to the evening’s proceedings.

Beepers – This is an ode to the now obsolete art of using skypagers (aka beepers) to mack on the opposite sex.  Long before everyone the age of twelve and older owned a cellphone, there was a time when pagers were the trendy way of communicating.  Looking back, the whole concept of some one beeping your pager with their phone number to call them back, seems kind of ridiculous, especially when you’re talking about 15 and 16 years old kids using them and not doctors or lawyers.  Thank you cellphone for killing off “those big old 6″ garage door openers”.

National Anthem – Mix-A-Lot was never known as a conscious rapper, but he does an effective job expressing his issues with the government and other societal injustices.  Too bad his instrumental sucked.

My Hooptie – To break up the tension created by the previous song, Sir Lot provides us with a little comic relief in the form of this ode to crappy cars. I haven’t heard this one in years and it still makes me chuckle listening to Mix A Lot do an awesome job painting a visual of the vehicle that everyone has seen, rode shotgun in, or even worst, owned.  It’s still funny to hear him describe a chick with junk in the trunk as having “immense posterior”.  This song sounds like something Will Smith would have done back when he was still referred to as Fresh Prince. Very clever concept and well executed, Sir Lot.

Gortex – For those who don’t know, Gor-Tex is waterproof fabric used to waterproof outdoor clothing and boots. I’ve always been a fan of Timberland boots and remember falling in love with some of the Gor-Tex insulated timbos back in the day. There is no question that Timberland was the boot of choice for hip-hop heads back in the early to mid-ninties. Oh, the song?  It sucked much.

The (Peek -A-Boo) Game – Things are progressively getting worse.

I Got Game –  What would a hip-hop album be without flossing and boasting? That’s exactly what Mix A Lot does on this one. Mix A Lot provides a decent funk instrumental to spit his F&B rhymes over and does a serviceable job on the microphone. We also discover the source of another vocal sample from “Baby Got Back” (“L.A. face with an Oakland booty”) on this track. Hey, that rhymed. I’m a poet and didn’t even know it.  Well actually I did, but…

I’ll Roll You Up – This is Mix-A-Lot’s version of a battle rap.  Sir Lot proves he can deliver clever punch lines (the reference to the old video game Pong was slightly amusing), even if his flow sounds a bit sloppy at times. I’d be willing to overlook the sloppy deliver if his instrumental for this one wasn’t trash.

Something About My Benzo – He showed love to his hooptie earlier, so now that his Benz its out the shop, it’s only right that it gets love as well.  Mix-A-Lot invites a few uncredited guests into the studio to brag about their Benz as well. Not great or terrible, but it falls somewhere in the middle of the two.

My Bad Side – Through the course of Seminar we’ve seen a glimpse of Mix-A-Lot the comedian, the conscious rapper, the activist, the player, and now…the gangsta rapper? I know right? You can stop laughing now.  The visual image of Mix A Lot’s line about dropping an opponent with a round house kick is hi-larious. And with that, this one’s a wrap.

After listening to Seminar in its entirety for the first time, I can’t say that it was life changing, nor can I say that I enjoyed it for that matter.  It was cool to reminisce over  “Beepers” and “My Hooptie,” back to a time before innocence was lost (both mine and hip-hop’s…well, at least hip-hop’s. Mine was probably gone way before then). There are a few other songs that were decent finds (but not jewels), and being the trivia buff that I am, it was nice to discover vocal samples that were used on one of the most popular rap songs of all-time. But when only half of your album is worth listening to, the results can’t be good, which is the fate that Seminar ultimately meets.

Maybe Mix A Lot could get a few more dollars out of his fans by releasing a greatest hits album.  Better make that an EP.

-Deedub

West coast hip-hop dates back to as far as 1981. Their were many left coast pioneers who helped advance hip-hop, giving the west a voice in the genre. While there have been many pioneers, there are only a few who can truly be credited with putting west coast hip-hop on the map.  In my opinion those three acts are N.W.A, Ice-T, and the subject of today’s write-up, Too-Short.

Todd “Too-Short” Shaw was born and raised in Oakland, California and begin rapping in high school.  Legend has it that he would write songs based on special requests from fellow students (the request must have come from horny little teenage boys, which would explain Too Short’s mastery ((and obsession)) with sex raps throughout his career).  Not long after, Too-Short begin making and selling his own home-made cassettes on the streets, which over time created quite a buzz.  That buzz eventually led to Too Short signing a deal with a small independent label called 75 Girls (how fitting), on which he would release 3 EPs, before inking a deal with Jive/RCA and releasing his major label debut Born to Mack in 1987 under his vanity label Dangerous Music.

“Life Is…Too Short” (the title song of his second full length release on Jive) was my first introduction to Too-Short; but my first true Too Short experience was Short Dog’s in the House, which of course is the subject for todays write-up.

I was thirteen or fourteen when I first heard this album.  Lets see if 20 or so years has altered my opinion on this one.

Short Dog’s In The House – Before Canibus or the Game spit 100 bars verses, there was Too Short.  Too Short will never be mistaken as the greatest lyricist ever but he sure has a knack for making his rhymes entertaining (the Bobby Brown reference and the “engine, engine #9” piece still make me chuckle). Too Short’s self-produced instrumental was decent and works well as the backing for Short’s one verse wonder.

It’s Your Life – As much flack as Too Short gets for his misogynistic rhymes he never gets enough credit for his more “conscious” songs.  Over his self-produced (with a co-production credit going to Keenan “The Maestro”Foster) “laid back funk instrumental,  our vertically challenged friend acts as a sage, as he instructs the young brothers to be wise with how they live their lives.   Not a great song but decent.

The Ghetto – See. Consecutive conscious songs back to back. Short Dog tackles all that’s
wrong with the hood over his instrumental (co-production credit to Al Eaton) that samples Donnie Hathaway’s classic of the same name. This is arguably Too Short’s biggest hit, and in my opinion best song in his catalog.  Sidenote: after Too Short’s 4th verse the cassette version of Short Dog’s In The House includes a portion of the Last Poet poem “Die Nigga”.

Short But Funky – This was the first single released from Short Dog’s in the House. Too Short takes a shot as his Oaktown brethren, Hammer in the final verse, which should come as no surprise since everybody and their momma were taking shots at him back then.  Too Short sounds right at home over his laid back funk instrumental.

In The Oaktown – Too Short and Al Eaton’s instrumental sounds a lot more entertaining today than I remember it sounded back in the day. This is Short Dog’s ode to his home town (Oakland) as he raps about women, cars, and even spits a few battle rhymes (which is rare to hear coming from Too-Short).  This was pretty enjoyable.

Dead Or Alive – I must have missed all of the rumors that were circling of Too Short’s apparent death back in the day (or maybe I just forgot..or better yet, maybe the rumors never existed and Too Short was just looking for a unique subject matter to cover).  Either way, Too Short doesn’t have anything interesting to say about the subject at hand (I still chuckle at his line “reincarnation of something old”, as if something new or that never existed could reincarnate.  Thanks for the clarification, Short Dog).  Too Short’s instrumental was pretty bland (what’s up with that cheesy Atari 2600 video game type sample used during the hook?) The first real mishap of the evening.

Punk Bitch – I still remember listen to this song off my brother’s cassette version of Short Dog’s in the House back in the day and giggling over Too Short’s outrageously comical and misogynistic rhymes.  I also remember loving the instrumental work. Listening today, Too Short and Al Eaton’s instrumental still sounds pleasant; and Short Dog’s line still make me chuckle. One of my favorite Too-Short songs.

Ain’t Nothing But A Word To Me (featuring Ice Cube) – These are the type of songs (and the previous) that Too Short is remembered (and ridiculed) for. For this one he recruits fellow leftcoaster Ice Cube to help him, as they tag team the mic in an attempt to see who can disrespect women the worst (and after listening again today Cube definitely give Short Dog a run for his money).  Is it just me or was Cube’s line about “cutting out the middle man” kind of gay? Sir Jinx’s instrumental was bordering on dull but Too Short and Cube’s rhymes will make you chuckle; just don’t take them too serious.

Hard On The Boulevard – I forgot about this song. Too Short’s instrumental was a pleasant surprise, especially since it bangs. As far as Sir Too Short’s (as her refers to himself in this song; when did he get knighted?) content, its more of the same misogynistic gibberish as the previous two songs, only less entertaining.

Pimpology – Professor Too Short gives us a brief (I use that term loosely as this song rambles on for well over 6 minutes) lesson on the study of pimping, which he learned at the impressionable age of three after his father enrolled him in pimp school (somebody get this guy a father of the year award).  No new ground covered here but you have to listen to it at least once to hear Too Short’s bangin’ instrumental.

Paula & Janet – After starting thing off with his trademark (“bitch”), Short dog spits a signature freaky tale about two of his many “tramps”.  DJ Pooh’s instrumental samples Stanley Turrentine’s “Sister Sanctified” (which 3rd Bass also used on  “Soul In The Hole”).   This was a pretty entertaining listen in a juvenile kind of way.

Rap Like Me – This is probably the only battle rap in Too Short’s extremely lengthy catalog (although I stopped listening to Too Short after the mid-nineties, so there may have been a few more in between then and 2012), and based on the results that is probably a good thing.  I imagine he’s going at Hammer on this one, but I could be wrong (what the hell does “your eyes pop open like paper plates” mean?) Regardless, the instrumental is trash so even if there was any potency in Short dog’s rhymes the instrumental would have sucked the life out of them.

The Ghetto (Reprise) – Instrumental version of the earlier song.

Let’s be honest.  Too Short will never win any awards for being the most profound or lyrical emcee. Nor will he be mentioned with the Premo’s and Dre’s as one of the most prolific producers in the genre.  Yet some how our vertically challenged friend managed to hold the listener’s attention during the first part of his career, including Short Dog’s in the House.   Short Dog’s in the House is not without mishaps, but overall it’s a pretty entertaining listen (assuming you like funk beats and aren’t expecting Rakim type lyricism).  Too Short says it best himself: “the style is mine I’ve been doing it for ten (years), you might say its simple but I’m making my ends.”  Too Short staying in his lane: simple lyrics and beats.  I’d be hard pressed to name another rapper in the game who ever made simple sound so entertaining.

-Deedub

For those who have not read my previous posts (or who are just unfamiliar with the drama) I’ll start with a quick recap on the N.W.A. saga at this point in the timeline:

In December of 1989, Ice Cube left N.W.A, released his mammoth solo debut Amerikkka’s Most Wanted, beginning his quest on taking over the world and becoming on of the most successful emcees of all time (later proving his line from “No Vaseline” accurate, as he literally “dropped 4 niggas and started making all the dough”).  This left N.W.A. in an interesting position.  With their strongest emcee gone, the remaining 4 disgruntled negroes were left with a lot of unanswered questions.

Nevertheless, N.W.A. still was a huge name in the game in 1990.  Without Cube they could still rely on Dre’s beats, Eazy’s personality (and squeally voice), Ren’s sharp lines, and Yella’s…uh, yeah.  In an attempt to keep the N.W.A buzz alive and build up anticipation for their forthcoming full length album (Niggaz4life), our Compton brethren released the 100 Miles & Runnin ep in 1990. It went on to reach gold status in less than 3 months of its release and eventually would earned the quartet a platinum plague.

Now, lets revisit the beginning of N.W.A’s life after Cube.

100 Miles And Runnin’ – This is the only single released from this EP.  Ren, Dre, and Easy (in that order) each get a verse and divide Ice Cube’s the 4th verse amongst the three of them. Dre screams his verse as if he’s the long-lost 5th member of Onyx, and also manages to take a cheap shot at Cube in the process.  Dre’s instrumental fits the title as it has an urgent and epic quality to it and still sounds sick 20 plus years later.  This song was very important for the group, as it proved even after loosing their most talent emcee N.W.A. could still create entertaining music.

Just Don’t Bite It – This starts of as an infomercial for women on how to give phenomenal oral pleasure, before it segways into a Ren solo joint that he spends the course of three verses sharing tales of different women who have provided this pleasure for him.  His second verse is extremely comical, as our simple-minded host explains his decision to have a chick go down on him instead of having intercourse, so not to risk contracting a STD (I guess the moron has never heard of herpes).  Ren’s content isn’t covering any new ground but he rides Dre’s smooth instrumental like a seasoned prostitute on the pole of loyal John who tips well.

Sa Prize (Part 2) – This is the sequel to “Fuck The Police” (thus the “Part 2”; although I’m not sure why they didn’t just title it “Fuck The Police Part 2″…maybe pressure from the label?).  All three rappers come off pretty nice as they address police brutality and the overall bad blood between the black community and the Police Force (which would reach its violent peak a year after 100 Miles & Runnin release).  Dre’s instrumentals sound miles ahead of the production on the albums used on the previous albums released in 1990 (or at least the ones I’ve recently listened to).  East, west, and all points in between: Dre’s arguably the greatest hip-hop producer of all time.

Real Niggaz – Ren, Dre, and Easy take you into the mind of “real niggaz” , as they call out all the fake ones biting their style; and of course Dre manages to sneak in another shot at a Ice Cube. I love Dre’s dark and menacing instrumental. Ren, Dre, and surprisingly, Easy, all mesh with the instrumental nicely.

Kamurshol – The title of this song is what the name of their then forthcoming album Niggaz4life sounds like when you say it backwards (so I’m told; I’ve never played the vinyl backward to confirm).  This is nothing more than a 2 minute promo of them repeatedly saying “Kamurshol” over, and over again.  Unlike Nas who years later hinted at using the controversial term as the name us his album (Untitled), N.W.A. actually stuck to their guns, in spite of label pressure.  Not much to see here folks, but Dre’s instrumental was pretty dope.

Upon its release 100 Miles & Runnin did an excellent job accomplishing what it’s intention was upon its release: give the listener a little taste of N.W.A to keep his or her interest peaked until the next full length release.  23 years later, and now knowing that two of the five songs from this EP (“Just Don’t Bite It” ((which they changed the name to “She Swallowed It”)) and “Real Niggaz”) would be included on the Niggaz4life album, hindsight has tarnished the EP’s initial achievement, while simultaneously proving just how illmatic time can be. Regardless, 100 Miles & Runnin  proved that N.W.A still packed a solid punch after losing their most potent lyricist.  Dre’s production only improved since the group’s last go round, and although Ren never had the charisma (or lyrical content) of an Ice Cube, he proves he can hold his own as the lead emcee on this release.  Dre and Easy have never been great emcee but all three mesh together fairly well over this 5 track experience.  Too bad this was the start of the ending for our Compton brethren.

-Deedub

Sticking with the recent Juice Crew theme, today’s review is on Kool G Rap & DJ Polo’s sophomore album Wanted: Dead Or Alive.

If you haven’t already, check out my opinion of their debutRoad To The Riches; but for those of you too lazy to read that review (or just don’t care what my opinion is of the album) here is a quick recap: G. Rap was a beast on the mic but the production was inconsistent. G. Rap must have realized this as well as Marley Marl (along with Dr. Butcher) who handled the bulk of the production duties on Road To The Riches, are benched (with the exception of one song) in place of a young up and coming producer, Large Professor (and some dude named Anton) to handle most of the production load on Wanted: Dead Or Alive.

There’s no question G. Rap has what it takes on the mic, but will Extra P’s production bring the musical consistency missing from G. Rap and Polo’s first go round?

Streets Of New York – Over two verses G Rap paints visuals of what takes place on the New York streets he’s accustom to.  The Large Professor produced instrumental is dope (especially the saxophone at the beginning and the piano sprinkled throughout the song).  Nice start to the evening.

Wanted Dead Or Alive – G. Raps in straight gangster mode on this one: he spends all three verses killing rivals or at minimum sending them violent threats; which I have to admit, some of them made me chuckle (not chuckling because their corny but more of an acknowledgement G Rap clever wordplay and wit).  The Large Professor instrumental could have used a little more Lawrys, though. As is, it’s pretty bland.

Money In The Bank – Extra P provides a beauty of an instrumental for this posse cut; so it’s only right that he sets things off and in the process rips the hell out of his own beat. Freddie Foxxx (who you younger readers may know as Bumpy Knuckles) and Kool G Rap follow with solid verses, while Cold Chillin’ roadie, Ant-Live wraps things up with a mediocre performance. Minus the Ant-Live verse this was a pretty entertaining listen.

Bad To The Bone – Eric B and G Rap are given co-producer credits but it aint hard to tell this instrumental is all Extra P.  G Rap completely annihilates the simple but bangin’ instrumental with his heavily lisped delivery.  G Rap’s reference of Video Soul was a blast from the past.  I see you Donnie Simpson.

Talk Like Sex – The title sums it up in a nutshell: G rap spits hilariously misogynistic rhymes over a funky instrumental that the liner notes credit him as producing as well.  This one is filled with clever punchline after punchline (the lines about Issac Hayes’ head and G Rap’s “hip-hop cock” are hi-larious). Wait, did he really just say “gooder and gooder”?  Despite that embarrassing terrible grammar moment this was enjoyable, in a guilty pleasure kind of way.

Play It Again Polo – Large Professor provides a fairly decent instrumental for G to murder as he kindly leaves the hook for Polo to work the ones and twos over.  Like myself, you may need to listen to this one twice: G Rap is lyrically that sick on this one.

Erase Racism – G Rap invites fellow Juice Crew members Biz Markie and Big Daddy Kane to assist on this one. Kool G and Kane provide the verses leaving Biz to sing the hook and add a few words at the end.  I never really cared for this song but Cool V’s (Biz Markie’s cousin and deejay) instrumental sounds a lot better today than I remember it sounding back in the day; and although G Rap and Kane both sound better spitting battle rhymes they still sound decent when they bring their “conscious rhymes” as well.

Kool Is Back – Is it just me or does this instrumental bear a striking resemblance to the one used on “Play It Again Polo”(I know they were produced by the same man, but geez)? Thankfully, Extra P changes up the drums just enough and scatters a sinister sample in every few bars giving it a rough feel that matches perfectly with G Rap rough flow on this one verse wonder.  I’ll say it again: G Rap is a beast on the mic.

Play It Kool – G Raps slows the pace down a bit, proving no matter what the beat’s bmp count is he can rip it.  Though the liner notes give credit to Large Professor for the instrumental, at one point is sounds as if  G Rap is giving Dr. Butcher credit for the   instrumental (or he just coincidentally decided to shout out Butcher’s great musicianship on this song).  Either way, the smooth mid-tempo instrumental was nice as well as G Raps contribution.

Death Wish – The instrumental reminds me of the one used on Intelligent Hoodlum’s “Arrest The President” (which Large Professor also produced, so it’s not much of a coincidence), only more eerie and entertaining.  Again, G Rap is in peak condition as he runs laps around this track (love the line about the Red Coats).

Jive Talk – Polo and some dude named Anton (again) share production credit on this one. G Rap murders the first verse, then after an extended break (that he uses to give shoutouts over), steps back to the mic and along with his crew form a cipher in the booth.  G Rap then resurrects the instrumental just to kill it again, before his homie tries to draw more blood out of it with a verse that obviously didn’t impress Rap and Polo, since they decided to fade it out in the edit.

The Polo Club – Polo’s solo joint.  I mean, he was the other half of the group.

Rikers Island – Marley Marl gets his only production credit of the evening on the album’s final song.  This is G Rap’s ode to one of the most notorious penitentiaries in the world.  This was obviously recorded way before the rest of the material on Wanted: Dead Or Alive, as G Rap’s flow sounds very undefined compared to the rest of his spit on the album; and Marley’s instrumental sounds like something from the early to mid eighties.  Not sure why they felt the need to tack this song on to the album.

When I looked at the liner notes and noticed Large Professor was credited with handling the majority of the production on Wanted: Dead Or Alive I was excited to hear G. Rap’s paintings over Extra P’s canvases. While none of Extra P instrumentals completely sucked, only a few are really good, leaving the majority of them stuck somewhere in between decent and aight, which was disappointing for me since I hold him in such high regards as a producer.  Thankfully, G Rap’s rhymes are to instrumentals what yoga pants are to a woman’s ass: he can take an average naked one and make it look (sound) bomb when he’s on it.  Wanted: Dead Or Alive is a solid album, I was just expecting so much more.

-Deedub

This cd is part of my collection for two reason: One, I remember the Afros making a cameo on a Run-DMC song (“Pause”), which alone must give them an inkling of street cred. Second and more importantly, it was only 99 cents at my local pawn shop.  Money talks a lot louder than street cred, son.

The group name was the brainchild of Jam Master Jay and the Beastie Boys deejay, DJ Hurricane.  The gimmick concept for the group came about after Jay and Hurricane watched Robert Townsend’s movie Hollywood Shuffle (a comedy film that satirizes the racial stereotypes of blacks in film and television), and decided that all members involved would rock afro wigs to mimic seventies blaxploitation movies and to represent all Afro-Americans and Black Power.  There are different thoughts and theories on who is and who isn’t an official member of the Afro crew, but we do know the three core members of the group consisted of Hurricane, Cool-T, and DJ Kippy-O.  As far as me naming who is who on the album cover?  Don’t get me to lying.

The Afros were the first artist to release an album on Jam Master Jay’s JMJ Records label (a label best known for discovering and signing Onyx) Kickin Afrolistics in 1990.  Jay and Hurricane would handle all production duties for the album.  While Hurricane would go on to release several solo albums, this was the groups only release as a whole.

And maybe there’s a reason for that.

Afro Like A Mutha – This is nothing more than an intro that annoyingly repeats the song title over an over again for nearly a minute over a simple instrumental that goes nowhere.

Better Luck Next Time – This one consist of three verses with three different stories: Cool T talks about a rap contest in verse one, while Hurricane uses the second verse to describe an interesting visit to the bank. Cool T handles the final verse which is about a Knicks/Sixers game (his mention of “Barkley and Oakley fighting for position on the inside” reminds you just how old this song is). The instrumental was cool and the verses were mildly entertaining, making this a solid opening song.

Feel It – I’m pretty sure this was the groups first and only single from the album.  Hurricane and Cool T explain to the listening audience why they wear their afro wigs and other random nonsense.  Overall this was pretty forgettable. Nothing to see here folks, keep it moving.

Coolin’ With The Fros – This is The Afros ode to the hoes, because what would a hip-hop album be without one?  The instrumental was garbage and both rappers (specifically Cool T) sound like they’re just going through the motions.  I hope this isn’t the start to a steady downward spiral.

Hoe Cakes – Fittingly, if you keep hoes in stock like The Afros did, eventually they’ll ask to be fed (because in the immortal words of Doughboy: “hoes gotta eat too”). This is Hurricane’s high-pitched alter ego’s solo joint and its a complete mess and waste of time.

On The Fro Farm – Um, yeah.

This Jams For You – This song is all kinds of terrible. The instrumental is struggling with an identity Crisis as it attempts to combine reggae, hip-hop, and…folk?  By this point in the album all both rappers lack of skill on the mic has completely been exposed, and to add insult to injury whoever is singing on the hook sounds like a poor man’s poor man’s Keith Sweat.  Ironically, the message in the song is uplifting while everything else about this song is depressing.  It ends on a bright note, as the last minute or so has a pretty smooth instrumental that they choose to talk about absolutely nothing over.  I guess the talking works better than them actually rapping.

Causin’ Destruction – Wait a minute. Did these clowns really just use an exert from a Malcolm X speech to introduce one of their songs?  Blasphemy!  Don’t be fooled by the Malcolm X speech and the song title: there is no message in this song.  Surprisingly, the hard instrumental is nice. Too bad there weren’t more talented rappers utilizing it. I think Chuck D would have brutalized this one.

Afros In The House – Useless interlude that goes on way too long.

Why Do I Wear My Fro – I mentioned Chuck D in the last song, and ironically this sounds like a amateur version of something PE would have done back in the day.  Oh, and they never bother to answer the question asked in the song title.

Afros And Afrettes – Interlude…

Jump –  Before Mack Daddy and Daddy Mack made you “Jump”, The Afros attempted to make you do the same. I guess there is no debate to which one of the two of those gimmicks were more successful.

Smokin’ – Although the beat is not “smokin'” as the Fros proclaim throughout the song, it is decent, and easily one of the better songs on the album, which isn’t much of a feat compared to the rest of the garbage I’ve endured up this point.

Federal Offense – The Afros spin a crime tale that starts as a car theft and then turns into all kinds of random ramblings that will leave you wondering what in the world are they talking about. Slick Rick they are not.   The instrumental was smooth and enjoyable and even though  Hurricane and Cool T’s story sucked, their approach and delivery was decent.

Straight From The Penial – Federal Offense then segway into this.  Not sure if this a parody of all the “macho gangsta” rap that was popular at the time or if the Afros expected us to forget all the tomfoolery and soft attempts at pop dance hits prior to this song and believe they were actually hardcore. Either way it doesn’t work as the instrumental is way to soft for the subject manner to even partially be believable.

Kickin’ Afrolistics – The fros save the title song for the final song on the album.  The instrumental is actually decent but Cool T and Hurricane still don’t have anything worth saying or listening to.

In the title song Hurricane states “a lot of people think its comical but it’s very realistic”.  He’s wrong twice: it’s definitely not real nor is this shit funny.  Kickin Afrolistics would be best described as an undirected hot mess of a gimmick. The album has no cohesiveness and the Afros clearly had no idea who they wanted to be as artists (and I use that term very loosely).  There were a few serviceable moments on Kickin Afrolistics but not serviceable enough to forgive the rest of  the album’s iniquities.

-Deedub

I remember once many moons ago, a friend and I were discussing the many underrated emcees in hip-hop.  Q-Tip, Postonous, Black Thought, and several other names were brought up.  One name my buddy mentioned, and a name he also believes to be the “epitome of b-boy” is today’s subject matter, Masta Ace.  Who I refer to as the rapper’s rapper.

Brooklyn native Masta Ace first came on the scene in 1988 making an appearance on the classic Juice Crew posse cut “The Symphony” from Marley Marl’s In Control Vol. 1 album. Unsurprisingly, Ace was able to parley that appearance into a deal on Marley’s now defunct label Cold Chillin’, and released his debut album Take a Look Around in 1990. Anyone familiar with Ace’s catalog knows he has a fetish for creating conceptual albums.  Well, Take a Look Around is unique in its the only non-conceptual Masta Ace album to date.  It’s also the only album that he spells his alias properly: by the release of his second album Slaughtahouse he dropped the “er” in Master” and substituted it with an “a”.

Ace may not have the smooth flow or lyrical dexterity of Big Daddy Kane, or the rawness and wit of  Kool G. Rap but he’s no slouch on the mic. While other members of the Juice Crew are more celebrated, Ace has continued to produce quality music under the radar (even as recent as 2012) while his JC alumni have all but rode off into the sunset. Or into obscurity.

Music Man – Marley provides a banger of an instrumental (built around an infectious bass line) for Ace to get loose to, and he doesn’t disappoint. This kind of acts as Ace’s introduction to the listener, in an attempted to break the ice between himself and the listening audience.  Nicely done.

I Got Ta – The ice was broken on the previous song so Ace uses his fire spit to completely melt the remaining remnant on this one. Ace constructs a one verse wonder built around a vocal sample from James Brown that uses the song title in between every bar, which somehow manages not to get annoying.  Mister Cee (better known as Big Daddy Kane’s deejay) provides a fire instrumental for Ace to drop his jewels on. With heat like this it’s a wonder why more emcees didn’t look to Cee for beats  Nice.

Letter To The Better (Remix) – This is labeled as a remix on the liner notes but I’ve never heard the original. Hopefully the instrumental on the original was more appealing than this stale Marley Marl conception. Regardless, Ace still makes the best of the scraps he was given.

Me And The Biz – I’ve always loves this one. Legend has it that fellow Juice Crew member, Biz Markie was supposed to make an appearance on this song, but for some unforeseen reason was unable to make it to the recording session. So Ace took it upon himself to make the duet by himself, providing his impersonation of Biz, which turned out to be a genius move, as this song did generate a little buzz back in the day.  The video for this one was pretty entertaining as well. Check it out for yourself.

The Other Side Of Town – This  is easily the most serious song on Take a Look Around, and arguably Ace’s entire catalog.  Ace takes on the perspective of a poor black man (or three?) depicting the struggles of a poor ghetto dweller trying to survive on the “other side” over three verses.  Marley’s instrumental serves as the perfect backdrop for Ace’s commentary, which is meaty, gritty, and authentic.  This one should tug on your heart and make you a little uncomfortable. Which are all qualities of good art. Brilliant job, Ace.

Ace Iz Wild – Ace gets loose over a playful and entertaining Marley instrumental. This was a nice way to break up the tension and serious mood  that”The Other Side Of Town” left in the air.

Four Minus Three – Ace recycles the instrumental used on the legendary posse cut “The Symphony” for this one and aptly calls it “Four Minus Three” in honor of the three missing emcees (Kane, G. Rap, and Craig G) this go round.  While this will never measure up to “The Symphony”, Ace spits one long verse proving that he is more than capable of holding things down solo.

Can’t Stop The Bumrush – Okay. This might be why Mister Cee didn’t see more work as a producer.  Well, they can’t all be winners.  Next…

Movin’ On – Ace moves back to a more serious tone as he spins three tales of bad decisions he has (or at least the character he’s playing) made and moved on from.  I still chuckle at his line writing off  the victim of a beat down’s street cred because he rocks penny loafers. This was a decent listen.

Brooklyn Battles – I absolutely love Marley’s laid back instrumental: the bass line, the whistling, and sampled harmony on the hook make this immediately addictive.  While Ace’s verses are decent the instrumental is the true standout on this one.  I need another hit.

Maybe Next Time – This could have been left on the cutting room floor.

Postin’ High – A dedication to those who have made it financially and can afford to shine and bling.  Ace isn’t hating on these individual, he actually approves of the lifestyle, but he also reminds the listener in the final verse not to make material possessions “the most important whisker on your cat” (it’s all about balance, yo). Mister Cee provides his third instrumental of the night (which samples the Crusaders classic “Street Life”).  While the instrumental is not great it works well with content and feel of the song;  and it sounds much better than the hot mess that was “Can’t Stop The Bumrush”.

As I Reminisce – Years before Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth “reminisced” Masta Ace was through it before they learned what to do with it.  Ace invites special guest Masta Ice and Unique to the booth who each spit two verses (and sound really good in the process) reveling in the nostalgia that was their respective childhood.  Ace raps (pun intended) things up with the final first lamenting over the lost innocence of his youth.  All three emcees do a great job of bringing their rhymes in a conversational tone that sounds believable. Mister Cee provide his best instrumental of the night (completely redeeming his self for that mess on “Can’t Stop The Bumrush”), which includes a saxaphone sample laced throughout the track that meshes beautifully with the emcees content.  Brilliant.  This is arguably my favorite Masta Ace song of all time and easily the best joint on Take a Look Around.

Take A Look Around – The title track is actually Ace sharing a spoken word poem over the same instrumental used on Gil Scott Heron’s classic “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”.  While Masta Ace was never consider a “conscious” emcee, in his early days he definitely wasn’t afraid to address societal ills and injustices (an attribute he would moved away from on his future projects).  There is a lot of meat in his poem.  And the church said: amen.

Together – Ace closes the show with an inspirational song, which while its kind of corny still manages to work.

Take a Look Around is a solid debut from Masta Ace. He does a good job of balancing substance with empty emcee crap, and manages to keep it all entertaining. There are a few bumps in the road, but those bumps are so far and in between that you probably won’t even notice them. Thanks for the underappreciated treat, Ace.

-Deedub