Time Is Illmatic

I was first introduced to Monie Love thru a few cameos she made in 89′: one, on the remix to De La Soul’s classic posse cut “Buddy”, the other on Queen Latifah’s “Ladies First”. These collabos would work in Monie’s favor, since both songs were released as singles, whose videos got a lot of airtime back in the day and expose the world to Monie’s charm and cuteness.  It was also a smart move to align herself with arguably the greatest hip-hop collective of all time (that’s the Native Tongues, for those keeping score at home). These wise choices (or furtunate opportunites) would eventually lead to Monie inking a deal with Warner Bros. and releasing her debut album Down to Earth in 1990, making her the first british hip-hop artist (male or female) singed to a major label.

Down to Earth would go on to be a commercial success, earning Monie a Grammy nod for Best Rap Solo Performance in 1990 for “Monie In The Middle”, and again the following year for “It’s A Shame (My Sister)”. She lost both times (first to Hammer and then LL (for his monster album, released earlier the same year, Mama Said Knock You Out)), but how many female emcees can say they were nominated for Grammys in consecutive years?  And this was before the category was broken down by gender.

As you all should know by now, great records sales, prestigious accolades, aligning your self with a legendary crew, and being british does not automatically equal a classic album.  On that note, lets give her a listen.

Monie In The Middle – The first single released from the album finds Monie sharing a tale of a high school love triangle that she’s involved in.  Actually, it might be better described as a stalker’s triangle that has Monie’s sweating a guy she repeatedly refers to as”the lover”, while she’s being followed into the ladies bathroom by a (not so secret) admirer of her own.  I remember the video matching the Monie’s lyrics in playfulness. I love the sick organ used during the instrumental, brought to you courtesy of Andy Cox and David Steele (yeah, I don’t know who they are either). According to the liner notes, Bootsy Collins had a hand in the production?  Weird much? I didn’t see/hear that one coming.  Regardless, nice start to tonight’s show.

It’s Shame (My Sister) – This is probably my favorite Monie Love song in her entire catalog, but when you considering she only has two albums to date (and a few cameos here and there) that’s not saying much.  The production duo of Cox & Steele (which sounds like a good name for a porno) strikes again, this time sampling The Spinners classic of the same title (minus the “My Sister”).  Monie uses this one to encourage a friend in a bad relationship to call it quits and move on.  Monie is a decent emcee but the production on the first two songs definitely out shined her vocals.

Don’t Funk With The Mo’ – Afrika Baby Bambaataa (of the Jungle Brothers), Kevin Maxwell, and Jerry Callendar (which I will simply refer to as Afrika & Associates for the rest of this write-up) collaborate for their first production credit of the evening.  They provide a simple funk instrumental for Monie to give a brief run down of her start in the rap game,  which includes a crooked producer who tried to get more credit than deserved for his role in getting her signed (three sides to every story:his, hers, and the truth is somewhere in between).  Monie gives her mom credit for her pursuing hip-hop as a career, after she apparently encouraged Monie to go for it after Monie spit a rhyme that made her little nephew smile.  Wow, if impressing your mom with your rhymes and making a little kid smile are the only criteria for being an emcee, that explains why the genre is so polluted with garbage rappers.  Regardless, this was a decent listen.

Ring My Bell – Remember in 1990 when house music was the lick and everybody and their mama, including hip-hop, jumped on that bandwagon? Well, Monie Love was not exempt from that fairweather ride.  Some dude named Richie Fermie provides a lame ass house beat for Monie’s feeble attempt to make a lame ass dance hit.  Guest vocalist Ultra Nate’s underwhelming contribution only adds insult to injury.

R U Single – Monie’s posing the question to a prospect at a bar/club/party, I assume, since she mentions he’s buying her a drink in the first verse.  I respect Monie’s honesty but who tells a dude they’ve just met at a club all about their five-year old daughter,  baby daddy drama, then randomly mentions they have “a mother minus a father”, and before the guy can ask what happen to her dad, she tells him not to ask her whether or not her parents are divorced.  Wft? Why did you bring it up then? These are all tell-tale signs of a physco woman, bro.  Afrika & Associates provide their second production contribution of the night, which is a lot worse than their first go round.  This song sucked.  Suddenly Down to Earth is falling beneath it.

Just Don’t Give A Damn – The production firm of Afrika & Associates somewhat redeems himself from the previous song’s failure, as he provides a decent backdrop for Monie to discuss a relationship with her man who has left her the victim of domestic violence (she mentions not allowing her babby daddy to see his daughter, which left me wonder if this was a true story based on her relationship with her baby daddy…any one with the inside story on this hit me in comments).  I did enjoy the instrumental but it seemed a bit too light-hearted for Monie’s content.

Dettrimentally Stable – I can say without a doubt, Afrika (& associates) is not a top 10 hip-hop producer on anyone’s list; and after this one I’m not looking forward to the remaining three songs he’s got a hand in.  This was the audible equivalent to watching paint dry.

Down 2 Earth – True humility needs not a song, but speaks for itself. But if you disagree with me, like Monie apparently does, don’t hire Afrika & Associates to produce it.

I Do As I Please – Awe, what better way to follow-up the previous song then with a song title that screams humility.  Cox & Steele return to the production helm for this one, but unfortunately the magic they once captured earlier on Down to Earth has completely vamoosed.

Pups Lickin Bone – Ironically, Monie recruits the forever horny JuJu from the world-famous Beatnuts to provide the instrumental for her calling out of a gardening tool trying to work her man’s field.  It was kind of comical to hear Monie give her man a pass for cheating since the “pups” throw it at him as if he’s a, dog, or something.  I’m a fan of the Beatnuts production, and you can hear elements of the dope sound they defined in the nineties, but something was missing from this instrumental (probably Physco Les and Kool Fashion).

Read Between The Lines – This is my other favorite Monie Love song of all time, and again it’s more so based on the instrumental, which was, surprisingly brought to you courtesy of no other then…Afrika & Asscociates!!!  Monie’s content sounds like something Q-Tip would have spit. As a matter of fact it would have been nice to see the Abstract Poetic make a cameo, which wouldn’t be much of a stretch considering both Tip and Afrika were both a part of the Native Tongue crew. A brotha can dream, can’t he?

Swiney Swiney – Afrika & Associates provide a stale instrumental for Monie to proclaim her distaste for the other white meat.  She points out how pork contributes to heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity and, worms? Wtf?

Grandpa’s Party – Two words: Hot. Mess.

Let’s be real: Monie Love is not on anyone’s greatest of all time list (even if you break it down by gender she doesn’t belong in anyone’s top 10).  Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a terrible emcee, but far from great.  Monie’s greatest strength, which she was able to display on her previous cameos appearances, was her ability to work well within a team setting; but unfortunately for Monie (and the listener) Down to Earth isn’t a group effort. Over the course of 13 songs (without any guest emcees) Monie’s vocal tends to  gets lost in the music and at times its even a challenge to make out her words (which is probably something she was aware of since all the songs lyrics are printed in the insert) . Speaking of music, about 75% of her instrumentals are garbage, making most of Down to Earthforgettable and definitely unable to hold its weight today.  She’s still cute, though.

-Deedub

Hailing from San Fransisco, California, Oscar Jackson Jr, better known to the hip-hop world as Paris, came on the hip-hop scene in 1990. Following the likes of Public Enemy, Paris’ music was heavily influenced with a pro-black message. In fact, Paris would  later get dropped from Tommy Boy Records before the release of his sophomore effort Sleeping With the Enemy, due to its violent content; which wouldn’t have been a problem if the violence was directed at other black men, but because it was directed at (then) President Bush and the police force it was viewed as too much for the suits at Tommy Boy and Warner Bros.  But I’m getting ahead of myself. Back to his debut…

In 1990 Paris released his debut album The Devil Made Me Do It, which can be looked at as a sign of troubles  to come for our militant brother in the industry, as the video for the title song was deemed to controversial by the powers that be at MTV, and banned from the network. Unlike his left coast brethren, NWA, Paris was not able to turn the controversy into ginormous record sales, but he still continues to record independent records and tours the globe.

I was exposed to Paris back in 92′, after seeing the video for his song “The Days of Old”, which led to me eventually buying Sleeping With the Enemy.  A few years ago I stumbled upon The Devil Made Me Do It at a local Pawn shop, and since I liked a few songs off the second album and it was a 1 dollar holla, you know the rest.

Fast forward to today.  This is my first time listening to The Devil Made Me Do It in its entirety.  Let’s give her a spin, shall we?

Intro – The album opens with a dark menacing instrumental accompanied by various soundbites from news reports relating to the black struggle in America thru the past 100 years.  One of the clips is on Yusef Hawkins, the Brooklyn teen who was murdered by a group of white youth in 1989. Wow, I can’t believe it’s been almost 25 years since that happen.  I feel old. RIP Yusef.

Scarface Groove – Paris sticks with the dark feel on the first song, as his instrumental is driven by a ridiculous bass line.  You would think (or at least I did) he would follow the intro with a pro-black/militant message song, but instead he uses this one to utter unconviencing threats and random boasts. I’ve never thought it about it before today, but you definitely can hear the influence of Rakim on Paris’ style. I’m not saying he’s a biter or nothing, but he definitely studied Rakim’s blueprint.

This Is A Test – Lets get one think straight right off the bat.  Paris loves bass, or as he refers to it on this song, “righteous bass”. Unsurprisingly, Paris’ instrumental is driven by a bananas bass line that he uses to criticize radio, their playlists, as well as telling the listener what to expect from a Paris album. P-Dog even takes a shuttle shot at shot at N.W.A. and another act that was remains unknown, thanks to a censor on that part of the vocal. (I’m extremely curious on who the shot was aimed at, why their name was removed, and why NWA’s name stayed on the track. Anyone with the inside scoop, hit me in the comment section)  This was a hot one.

Panther Power –  This one opens with a soundbite taken from a speech from former Black Panther leader Bobby Seale, which is fitting, since the song is pretty much an endorsement for the Black Panther Movement, which is becoming very obvious that P-Dog was obsessed with when this was recorded.  The soundbite of a prowling panther at the end of the song was kind of corny.  This song didn’t make me want to put on my black beret and leather jacket, but I did get pulled over the other day for looking suspicious, so I’m not opposed to calling the cops, pigs. So, Panther Power!

Break The Grip Of Shame – This was the second single released from The Devil Made Me Do It. Curiously, Paris’ instrumental (which I was fighting the urge to get up and shake my groove thing to while listening to) has a dance feel to it, which I’m not opposed to, but I find a bit contradicting, considering the comment he made about dance music on “This Is A Test”.  It’s also interesting that Paris (or the label) chose to censor his curses on this particular song but let them fly all Willy-Nilly on the previous songs. More than likely this was recorded with the intent of releasing it as a single, thus Paris made that decision, but it still sounds a little awkward when listening to the album in its entirety.  I’m not sure why he settled on naming this “Break The Grip Of Shame”, since his lyrical content is all over the place on this song.  Maybe when Paris heard the infectious groove, like me, he too had the urge to shake his little tush to it. But unlike me he could no longer resist the desire, as he proceeded to drop it like it’s hot, and in the process experienced a freedom he never felt before, and for a moment (at least) he stopped taking himself so serious and felt no shame in letting the rhythm move him, thus the title “Break The Grip Of Shame”. Probably not, but it sound like a good theory in my head.

Warning – Over an instrumental that is so minimal it barely exist (which also rings true for Paris’ vocal), Paris spits a quick one verse wonder about a thirteen year old boy who’s been the victim of police brutality.  In case you forgot or never knew: after NWA recorded “Fuck The Police” this type of song became mandatory for any hardcore/Pro-black hip-hop album back in the early nineties.  This wasn’t terrible but not memorable in the least bit.

Ebony – This is an ode to Paris’ favorite magazine (not really, but I think you’re smart enough to figure out what it’s really about).  I actually like the guitar sample Paris uses for the instrumental, but the drums underneath it are way too aggressive and end up overpowering and drowning out the sample like a tsunami.

Brutal – Paris’s strong bass line carries his instrumental as he gives a brief history on the Nation of Islam and name drops a few key players in the that movement in the process. The second verse is when things get a bit shaky: P completely changes up the instrumental to what equates to a bunch of noise; and to make matters worse, his flow completely falls a part as he trades in his smooth delivery for a more aggressive one that leaves him off beat and sloppy . Listening to the last part of this song fits the song’ title.

On The Prowl – Did I mention that Paris is obsessed with the Black Panthers?  It becomes even more evident with this complete waste of time.  This is pretty much a drum beat with the same panther sample used on “Panther Power” sprinkled over it.  On the bright side,  it’s only a minute and a half.

The Devil Made Me Do It – The video for the album’s title song was the first single that was banned from MTV back in the day because it was deemed to controversial.  I just watched the video on YouTube and honestly I’m not sure what was too controversial about it. In comparison to the videos they play nowadays this video is pretty innocent.  Paris’ overall theme is to say the devil’s (aka the white man) treatment of blacks throughout American history is the reason for the militant stance he taken, I think. Paris sounds decent on the mic but the real winner is his instrumental with its driving bass line and the melodically dark keyboard sample sprinkled in during the hook.

The Hate That Hate Made –  This was short. That’s all I got.

Mellow Madness – The song title is fitting, as Paris fuses a jazzy sax into his instrumental to create a laid back and pretty enjoyable instrumental. I have no idea what Paris was rapping about, though. My attention is getting shorter than a Nevada stripper’s skirt.

I Call Him Mad – This is Paris’ ode to his deejay Mad Mike, for whom P-Dog is generous enough to give equal shine to on this song.  I respect the sentiment, but anyone who reads this blog regularly knows I’m not a fan of this type of song; and this one is no exception.

Esacape From Babylon – P-Dog breaks out the soapbox to discuss the state of the black man, The Nation of Islam (again) and take the time our of his busy schedule to explain the Black Panther 10 point system, which is pretty much a waste of time since the 10th point sums up point 1 thru 9 in a nutshell. I didn’t care for this one too much.

Wretched – Paris aims this one at those he considers to be sellouts.  It was kind of interesting to hear Paris call out Young MC (wonder what he’s doing these days?) and Jazzy Jeff (and the Fresh Prince, even though he only names Jeff) for (in his opinion)creating mindless music people choose to listen to so they don’t have to face the reality of racism and injustices.  Even Chuck D (whom Paris would later collaborate with) know every militant rapper needs a Flavor Flav to balance things out.

The following two songs are only included on the cd version of The Devil Made Me Do It:

Break The Grip Of Shame – Other than an extended instrumental intro and a few cuts and scratches here and there, this is the exact same as the original mix.

The Devil Made Me Do It (Poach A Pig Mix) – Same as the original with a few added bells and whistles in the form of extended breaks with soundbites of derogatory terms for police. (thus the “Poach a Pig Mix” sub-title). This was a waste of wax, but more importantly, a waste of time.

The Devil Made Me Do It is one of the greatest hip-hop albums every manifested. Any hip-hop collection instantly loses creditability without The Devil Made Me Do It included. I’m bullshitin’ ya.  I do appreciate Paris’ hands on approach, though. He wrote, performed, and produced the entire album which manages to maintain a cohesive feel throughout.  But there is a thin line between cohesive and redundant, and Paris, who is a pretty decent emcee, tends to straddle that line quite often when it comes to his content, never straying too far from his “pro-black-black-panther party-Nation of Islam” rhetoric. Some of his instrumentals tend to sound the same as well.  The Devil Made Me Do It isn’t a complete waste of time nor is it a classic, but it falls somewhere in between those two extremes.

-Deedub

While rummaging through the used cd bins at one of the used cd shops that I frequent, I came across an album cover with two young brothers in suits standing behind a pulpit as if tag team preaching. After flipping the cd case over and discovering a pic of the same two brothers in African Dashikis on the back, I quickly concluded this was a hip-hop album and not a gospel album like I initially suspected (that and the fact that the track listing included songs labeled “Freedom Got A Shotgun” and “KK Punanni”).  I became even more curious when I noticed this was released on a major label during a time when that was still a pretty rare feat for a hip-hop artist.  Since it was only a dollar, and anybody who reads this blog regularly knows what a sucker I am for those dollar deals, I decided to add it to the collection.

Movement Ex was comprised of emcee Lord Mustafa and deejay/producer DJ King Born.  Lord Mustafa, whom I will only refer to as Mustafa going forward (because I’m not british and he aint Jesus), was born in New York and moved to Cali as a kid.  He later took to the teachings of the 5 Percent Nation, linked up with DJ King (who was also a 5 Percenter), and the duo formed Movement Ex. They would later ink a deal with Columbia and release their only debut album Movement Ex , before disbanding to forever be forgotten in the annuls of hip-hop. Apparently, Mustafa later changed his emcee alias to Born Allah only to forever be forgotten in the annuls of hip-hop, again.

By 1990 I was breathing, eating, and sleeping hip-hop, so I’m still perplexed at how I completely missed this one.

Or maybe this one missed me.  Kind of like a bullet.

Prologue-This Movement Is Ex-Rated – The album starts off with a pretty dope instrumental before Mustafa chimes in to introduce the crew and their collective mission to bring you reality per Allah (and for you to see your past, present, and future…and some stuff about seeing yourself face to face).  Decent enough for an album intro.

Freedom Got A Shotgun – This one opens with some pretty epic horns before the drum beat drops and Mustafa comes in screaming at the instrumental like he caught it in bed with another rapper.  The track is pretty aggressive, which is only appropriate since the theme of the song is to take your freedom by force.  The problem is Mustafa sounds sloppy and as if he’s chasing the beat, and unfortunately for him the beat happens to be Usain Bolt.  Wait, did he really just rhyme “shot” with “virus”?  Regardless of the poor contribution from Mustafa, I can’t stress how sick the horns are on this instrumental.

United Snakes Of America –  This is a shot out to all the corrupt branches/organizations that lead, serve, and protect this great country, past and present.  Mustafa picks up where he left off on the previous track, yelling his sloppy rhymes over an instrumental he can’t keep pace with (and this time he manages to rhyme “savage” with “bondage”). I wasn’t feeling this one.

Universal Blues – The instrumental for this one is built around the theme music for 2001: A Space Odyssey.  The track’s tempo is slowed down but unfortunately Mustafa doesn’t change his approach on the mic and come across  overly aggressive (and sloppy) as he addresses the world’s environmental issues, before going into a full fledge sermon on why the white man is a savage and how irresponsible he has been with Mother earth and her resources. I don’t know about you but I’ve seen hella brothers shit on the environment as well.

KK Punanni – This is another Public Service Announcement with a pretty interesting song title. “KK” referring to the Klu Klux (as in the Klan), and “Punanni”, I think you’re all smart enough to figure that out.  The song’s premise is built around a conspiracy theory that the white man has designed a plan to infect and kill off the black race with stds. I believe there may be some truth to this theory, but if I see and recognize you’ve laid a trap specifically set to snare me and I still choose to walk into it, some of the blame has to fall on me.  My people, we have to take responsibility for our actions (stepping of my soapbox). Mustafa’s story about a dude sleeping with a chick who happens to have syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, and AIDS (when it rains it pours, I guess) was pretty comical, in a how the hell does one human being contract that many stds at the same time and manage to continue to breath, yet alone desire to continue to sex, kind of way. What is even more amusing is Mustafa explaining to the listener that contracting this combination of std’s can make your balls fall off (nice scare tactic, bro).  Comedy aside, this song was pretty terrible.

I Deal With Mathematics – The title of this song is inspired by the 5 Precent theology of mathematics being the only universal law that is pure and cannot be altered or tampered with.  After hearing Mustafa’s weak flow and King’s matching instrumental it may have been to the listener’s benefit if someone would have altered this one before it was released.  I deal with reality, and this was weak.

Radical – Mustafa is in battle mode, and fittingly his rhymes match King’s underwhelming instrumental, as he doesn’t even sound like he believes his own boasts.  It sounds like Mustafa takes a shot at Rakim on this one, which might explain why Movement Ex was never heard from again after this album and Lord Mustafa changed his alias years later.

Zig Zag Zig – *Yawning*.  I did wake up for a brief second when it sounded like Mustafa was going to pass out at the end of his second verse. Breath control, son.

Is My Mic On? – Unfortunately.

The Lord Speaks his Mind –  King slows down the pace and provides a smooth instrumental that I actually enjoyed (specifically the break used during the hook). Mustafa follows suit this time, as he calms down his delivery to match the instrumental.  Unfortunately, even when he’s not yelling he still comes off rushed and sloppy.

Rap Mafia – Did Mustafa really just imply that Movement Ex’s impact on the upliftment of African-Americans is on the same level as Martin and Malcolm’s?  Negro, please.  You wouldn’t be qualified to carry either of their bible or koran.

Knowledge This – More sloppy battle rhymes over a garbage instrumental. Next…

King Goes Solo – Just as the title suggest, King gets to show his skills on the ones and two’s, while breaking up the monotony of Movement Ex to this point. Thank you.

Get Up Off  The Pipe – Another PSA.  This one is about the harmful effects of crack, I think. Mustafa actually uses this on to speak on everything from prostitution to H.W. Bush being the reincarnation of Regan. Kudos to Mustafa for acknowledging that blacks are at least partially responsible for the state that we’re in now.  This song is so terrible I’m sure Allah is shaking his head in disappointment.

The Musical – Apparently Mustafa and King had a vision to combine “classical music with the funky drums of hip-hop”, which does make for a pretty decent instrumental for this one. King even steps from behind the boards to spit a verse, which makes me wonder what the album would have sound like had he and Mustafa split more of the microphone duties. King is not a great emcee or anything, but it would have at least broken up the monotony of Mustafa’s underwhelming contributions.

Comin’ At Ya – This one starts out with a sick horn sample that builds the anticipation that this is going to be a banger, then suddenly the air is let out of the balloon when the Bill Withers’ “Who Is He?” sample drops.  I’m not saying the “Who Is He?” sample doesn’t work, but it’s kind of like being told you’re going to meet Beyoncé for a lunch date, only to have Solange show up in her place.  Mustafa saves his sloppiest performance for last, making ridonkulous claims like he’s such a threat to the U.S.  that he’s  “ a major issue discussed by the Senate”. Negro please, they don’t even discuss you at hood barber shops.

Epilogue – This Movement Is Ex Rated – This is the outro that uses the same instrumental as the intro, which Mustafa uses to proclaim to have given you “life in all its perspectives on a piece of wax”. Really?  Either someone switched the original songs and replaced it with this hot mess or Mustafa is downright crazy. Either way, this record does not support his claim.

I don’t mind music with a message. Matter of fact, I love music that has a message. But if that message has any chance of getting through to the listener it has to be entertaining and done skillfully, and Movement Ex lacks both of these attributes. I did enjoy a few of King’s instrumentals but Mustafa sounds terrible on the mic, lacking charisma, breath control, clarity, and at times he just sounds downright sloppy. When you couple the shortcomings of Movement Ex with its ridiculous length (its 17 songs long!) you have a hot mess on your hands, and strong evidence to why they dropped off the face of the hip-hop earth after this one.

-Deedub

Since I’ve decided not to cover any compilation or best of albums on this blog, I almost did not review today’s subject. My reason being that Cactus Revisited is a collection of six songs remixed from 3rd Bass’ debut The Cactus Album(or The Cactus Cee-Dee, depending on which media format you purchased) and one previous unreleased song.  But at this point 3rd Bass had only released one album, so it definitely not a “best of” album and there is at least on new song included I decided to take the Cactus Revisited for another spin.

The Cactus Revisited was released a year after the original and six months before their second and final group effort Derelicts of Dialect, in what I can only imagine was a way to keep listeners interested in the mean and in between time of their official releases. Some pretty well-respected producers dropped off beats for our melanin challenged brethren, but even with their contributions Cactus Revisited received lackluster results, both commercially and critically. I haven’t listened to this album in years and even looking at the track list on the cd insert I can’t remember what any of the remixes sound like.

Which might be me foreshadowing my opinion of this album, unknowingly.

The Gas Face – Since it would probably be nearly impossible to surpass the sickness that was the original instrumental for “Gas Face”, 3rd Bass wisely uses the same Prince Paul instrumental but use different lyrics on this take. Pete sticks to the same playground antics as the original while Serch take a more serious approach to his content. Zex Love X (better know as MF Doom) doesn’t appear on the remix but it would have been interesting to hear what he would have to say on this remix. This wasn’t life changing, but is was a cool spin on the original.

The Cactus – Dave Dorrell provides a decent instrumental for this remix. I personally prefer Sam Sever’s instrumental on the original, but if you disagree I’ll understand.

Wordz Of Wizdom – Other than a missing guitar riff and a minor tweak here and there, this sounds pretty much identical to the original (which Sam Sever is also responsible for). It’s nearly 8 minute run time is waaaay to long! I’m not sure why they thought a remix was necessary for this one, but I prefer the original.

3 Strikes 5000 (Vocal) – This is the lone song that was not included on The Cactus Album. After listening to the Stimulated Dummies skeleton instrumental it was probably a good idea not to include this on the original release as it sounds incomplete (which might explain the “vocal” in song’s title). To add insult to injury both emcees sound like they’re struggling to gain their footing to the beat, with Serch sounding more uncomfortable than Pete.

Brooklyn Queens – 3rd Bass definitely succeeds in giving this one a complete makeover,
thanks to CJ Mackintosh and Dave Dorrell’s instrumental that turns this ode to the ladies of Brooklyn into a dance track. That said, this aint touching the original version which I happen to love.

Product Of The Environment – Now when I looked at the production credits and saw that Marly Marl was responsible for this one I got a little excited (not full on wood, but just a little lift).  For those of you that don’t know, or your old age has just effected your memory, Marly Marl was one of the hottest producers in the game at this point in his career (remember, he produced LL’s classic Mama Said Knock You Out the same year). So when I heard this alleged remix of the original I was a bit insulted. The only noticeable (and notable) difference in Marley’s remix from the original instrumental are the horns during the hook.  Either Marly was just being lazy when he did this one or he doesn’t like white people.  Either way, this sucked.

Steppin’ To The A.M. – I’ll take the original, with a large fry and a sprite, please.

If the Cactus Revisited were water it could best be described as lukewarm. Not hot enough to make it necessary to own, nor cold enough to make it a complete waste of time. But since it is lukewarm, you’ll spew it out and forget that it ever existed.

-Deedub

Another one that I’ve had in my collection forever, but it somehow managed to disappear from my spreadsheet.  Insert this one after Holy Intellect.

We last left our friends Salt N Pepa in 1988 with their gold-selling, sophomore effort, A Salt With a Deadly Pepa.  The group, as well as the first two albums, were all concoctions of the mad scientist Hurby Luv Bug (who also went under the alias of Fingerprints for a while), who pretty much wrote and produced both albums. So for their third release Blacks Magic the ladies stuck to the age-old adage of if it aint broke don’t fix it. For the most part.

Hurby did relinquish some of his power this time around as Salt and Spinderella wrote and produced a handful of tracks, and a few members of his crew, The Invincibles co-produced a few tracks, which I’m sure was done under Hurby watchful eye. The formula worked as Blacks Magic would earn the ladies another platinum plaque, laying the foundation for their next, and mega successful, album Very Necessary. But will cover that at a later date.

Numbers may not lie but they don’t tell the complete truth either.

Expression – The lead single from Blacks Magic was a pretty big hit on the pop charts back in the day. SNP have always made hip-hop records tinged with R&B, so the blatant R&B touch on this one should come as no surprise. At times I have viewed acts who fuse the two genres as sellouts, but when SNP do it, somehow it sounds authentic. Salt steps behind the boards and provides a pretty dope instrumental for herself and Pep to spit over. For the most part, both ladies stick to the topic at hand (straying a little bit during the final verse), while the invited guest vocalist Jacci McGhee makes the most of her opportunity, turning in a solid performance singing the hook. If you don’t like your hip-hop fused with its older brother, I understand. But in my opinion, this is a top five SNP record.

Doper Than Dope – After opening things on an inspiring note, the ladies decide it’s time to get into some straight hip-hop ish, and what better way to evoke that than sampling Bob James’ “Nautilus” for the backdrop, which happens to be hip-hop’s favorite source material. Salt and Pep have never dropped heavy rhymes that would make you hit the rewind button, but they manage to bounce off each other nicely on this one.

Negro Wit’ An Ego – The song title might lead you to assume this is a shot at those uppity brothers who think they’re better than the rest of the world, but you know what they say happens when you assume. Instead, SNP proclaim how proud they are to be black women. Nice message from my Nubian sisters, but Hurby’s instrumental is blah, leaving the record sounding mediocre.

You Showed Me – This was another single off of Blacks Magic, and like all of the other singles released from the album, it is heavily R&B flavored, which should come as no surprise, since it’s a remake of an old R&B song that was originally recorded by The Turtles back in the sixties. The ladies use the Excalibur-produced instrumental to share how they went from betrayed, dedicated lovers to bitter broken bitties, who now play by the same rules as their unfaithful lovers. The instrumental fits the content perfectly. They could have gotten a better vocalist to sing the hook, as this Joyce Martin chick sounds like an uninspired hot mess. But overall, the record works well.

Do You Want Me – While scanning the track list on the CD jacket of Blacks Magic, it occurred to me that almost half the records from the album were released as singles. They marketed the hell out of this project. Hurby Luv Bug steps back behind the boards for this one and provides a banger for Salt to spit over (with an occasional ad-lib from Pepa), as she questions a boyfriend’s intentions, whose patience is also being tested, as she makes him wait to receive the forbidden fruit. Hurby Luv Bug might catch a lot of flack for intentionally creating pop songs, but occasionally in his production heyday, he would flirt with musical genius, similar to Will.i.am.  This song bangs!

Swift – Steevee-O gets his second production credit of the night as Salt goes solo for the second-consecutive song. She’s in battle mode, trying her best to recite Hurby’s ghost-written rhymes like she means them, with decent results. But no one listens to a SNP record to hear vicious battle rhymes, anyway.

I Like To Party – Um yeah…this sucked.

Blacks’ Magic – Salt starts this out by revealing that Pepa’s absence from a portion of the album was related to the birth of her first child. So Spinderella (who actually gets the production credit for this song as well) plays Robin to Salt’s Batman as they tag team the mic, explaining both the negative connotations and the positives behind the term “Black.” This was serviceable, but far from memorable.

Start The Party – Salt gets her third production credit of the evening. While it’s nice to see her expanding her horizons, its unfortunate this song is completely garbage.

Let’s Talk About Sex – Out of the five singles released from Blacks Magic, this is easily the biggest and most commercial hit on the album. I believe at one point MTV was even using it for its AIDS prevention campaign. Hurby samples the Staple Singers hit “I’ll Take You There” for the backdrop as Salt uses her verses to discuss the birds and the bees. As many times as I’ve heard this song, I’ve never noticed Pep didn’t contribute a verse.  Regardless of how big a hit this was and the influence it had on the safe sex movement, I’ve never cared much for it.

I Don’t Know – The ladies invite their male counterparts, Kid N Play (of House Party fame, and another one of Hurby Luv Bug’s inventions) into the booth as the quintet (Spinderella spits a partial verse) discuss unfaithfulness and being leary about giving cheating lovers a second chance. It sounds like an interesting concept, but it’s not executed well as the characters get all mixed up, making it nearly impossible to keep track of which characters are dating, so it winds up sounding like one big orgy on wax.

Live And Let Die – Two words: Gar bage.

Independent – This is hands down my favorite song (or tied for number one with “Push It”) in all of Salt N Pepa’s catalog, and not just because I wanted to sop Salt up with a biscuit every time I watched her ass-ets float across my TV screen in that sexy white outfit during the video. The ladies invite Sybil to sing the hook on this ode to the independent woman, which Salt is not only credited with writing but also producing. Last song. Now I’m free to rekindle my obsession with Salt by watching the video on YouTube.

Blacks Magic is a mixed bag of tricks (pun intended). Five of the thirteen songs were released as singles that were all pretty popular upon their release. While I enjoyed four of the five singles, the rest of the album consists of mediocre to terrible filler tracks, making Blacks Magic a commercial success, but in my humble opinion, an overall underwhelming listen.  SNP’s next release would sell over five million units, so I’m sure they would tell me to kiss their underwhelming asses. An offer I might take two-thirds of the group up on.

-Deedub

Candell Manson, who’s rap moniker Candyman is derived from a combination of his first and last name (how clever) is a west coast rapper who experienced his 15 minutes of fame back in 1990. Candell was introduced to Dr. Dre by a mutual friend Sir Jinx (of the Lench Mob), which led to him producing a three song demo for the good doctor (which I would be very interested in hearing if anyone out there in cyber land has a copy). From there Candell went on to work with fellow left coast rapper Tone-Loc and release an ep Hip-Hop Addict that only he and his mama ever heard.   Candell would soon expand his fan base after inking a deal with Epic and releasing his major label debut Ain’t No Shame In My Game in 1990. Candyman (along with friend Johnny “J” and, the Candyland band) would produce every track on Ain’t No Shame In My Game, which would eventually go on to earn Candy a gold plaque.  Epic did allow Candy to release a sophomore effort (Playtime Is Over), which failed miserably, subsequently hurling Candell to the obscure world of independent releases and ending his 15 minutes of fame at 9 minutes and 54 seconds.

Now, don’t get it twisted.  Candyman worked with Dr. Dre, but Ain’t No Shame In My Game is nowhere near being a gangsta rap album or even remotely hardcore. Instead, Candell chose to take a gentler approach and focused on the ladies. And if you haven’t noticed I don’t menstruate or wear heels.

But there were a few songs I remember liking, if only a little bit. Plus it was only a dollar, so what the heck.

Ain’t No Shame In My Game (Intro) – Sounds like a poor man’s poor man’s take on the game show skit De La Soul’s used throughout their debut Three Feet High And Rising, only it completely sucked.

Candyman – This one starts out accapella with a female vocalist (who can actually sing)singing cappella before the instrumental drops and Candyman begins his quest to gain a larger following of fans in heels than LL.  Although the vocalist can sing the chorus begins to grade on the ears as she continuously begs Candyman to be her sugardaddy.  At least when LL decided to sell out he had charisma that ladies would actually be attracted to.

Don’t Leave Home Without It – This is a public service announcement.  Candyman spends three verses explaining to the listener the importance of using protection (specifically in the form of a condom) to avoid STDs and having blind illegitimate kids with an overweight crack smoking baby mama infected with syphilis. Don’t you hate when that happens?  Candyman’s flow is suspect but the instrumental was decent. I thought vocal sample used during the hook was pretty clever as well.

Knockin’ Boots – This was Candyman’s first single and only hit (if only a mild one).  Tone Loc opens this one up informing the listener right off the bat that this is dedicated to the ladies, so you can’t be mad if you’re disappointed after choosing to stick around and listen after the warning was issued.  I’m somewhat of a  puppy dog when it comes to my hip-hop, so I personally enjoyed Candyman’s soft laidback instrumental, more so than his cheesy lyrical contribution.  At least his flow sounds better than it did on the previous two songs, and he might have actually managed to impress a few ladies with this one.

Melt In Your Mouth – This was the second single released from Ain’t No Shame In My Game, to let his would be victims know the Candyman’s order of operation: after he knocks your boots, he’s gonna melt in your mouth. How romantic. Candy shows he has a sense of humor as he starts this one out by dedicating it to “all the suckas out there who thought he was soft when he dropped Knockin’ Boots”, before he let’s the listener know this one is actually for the ladies as well (in a genre where artist take themselves way too serious, it’s refreshing to hear a guy poke fun at himself).  I absolutely hate when rappers repeat the same verse in a song, and our host is guilty of that sin on this one.  The instrumental was enjoyable in the same puppy dog manner as the previous song, which Candyman tends to sound right at home over.

Playin’ On Me – I really like Candyman’s instrumental  on this tale of two lovers who catch each other cheating.  The added horns and Ice Cube vocal sample during the hook were a nice touch too.

Today’s Topic – After a pointless skit that includes an interview with a few imaginary emcees, Candyman, for the first time of the evening, deviates away from his favorite pastime, to defend his hip-hop brethren’s collective freedom of speech. You may have forgotten, but their was a time in hip-hop that rappers lyrical content was under intense scrutiny, which when compared to the stuff these kids spew out nowadays, 2 Live Crew’s raunchiest song could go on a Disney movie soundtrack.  This was far from great but it was a nice change of pace.

The Mack Is Back – Candyman should never rap over uptempo instrumentals.  Never again in life.  It’s bad enough he sounds like he’s reading from a script, but to add insult to injury he has no breath control. On the bright side, if you own this album and were planning on making sloppy joes, you can save yourself a few bucks by substituting the manwich mix with Candyman’s flow on this one.  It’s going to be a challenge listening to the rest of this one (*sigh*).

Nightgown – Shoot me now.  Please?

Who Shakes The Best – Candyman and crew take on the old school girl bit/game of the same name and make a rap song out of it.  Yeah, it sounds worst than it…sounds.

Keep On Watcha Doin’ – Pretty please?

5 Verses Of Def – I remember loving this song back in the day, when I would listen to my brother’s cassette version of Ain’t No Shame In My Game (and probably the only reason I spend a buck on this crap in the first place).  While Candyman sounds several degrees better than he did on the majority of Ain’t No Shame In My Game (or maybe he just sounds better because I know this is the final song and I’m almost done with this dreadful assignment) the real reason I dug this one back in the day was for the instrumental, which still sounds good today.  I’m still trying to figure out the meaning of the song title since he only spits two verses. Then again, who cares. This one is a wrap.

Dude, that was painful.  I remember at least partial enjoying a few of the songs on Ain’t No Shame In My Game, largely do to Candy’s instrumentals (which with a tweak here and there, I believe he could have parlayed it into a successful production career).  Those same few instrumentals are still enjoyable, but his lack of charisma and unpolished rhyming ability leaves a huge void that I was able to overlook in my adolescence but my adult mind won’t allow.  But hey, I’ve blown a dollar on worst.

-Deedub

For those keeping order at home, this one should go after We’re In This Together. This one has been in my collection for a while but for some unforseen reason got left off my spreadsheet when I was chronicling my collection by release date.  Proof that even hip-hop junkies make mistakes.

As the eighties came to an end and the nineties rolled in, hip-hop started to move away from its light-hearted party rhymes, as many new artists took on a more militant/black consciousness approach. Many from this new crop of artists followed, or at least took to some of the teachings, of the Five Percent Nation (which was founded by Clarence 13X, former member of the Nation of Islam and follower of Malcolm X). Which reminds me of an article in The Source back in the day about how the Five Percent Nation was influencing hip-hop artists. Pretty interesting read, but I digress.

Birthed out of this Five Percent hip-hop movement came a trio out of Trenton, NJ, which called themselves The Poor Righteous Teachers, which comes from the Nation of Islam teaching that 85% of the people are blind to the truth, while 10% know the truth but teach a lie for personal gain, and the remaining 5%  know the truth and do not subscribe to the teaching of the 10%, thus the Five Percent Nation, andthe poor righteous teachers. While I don’t subscribe to that doctrine, it does make for bad ass name for a rap group. Made up of lead emcee Wise Intelligent, hypeman Culture Freedom, and the deejay Father Shaheed, the Poor Righteous Teachers hit the scene in 89′, releasing their first single “Time To Say Peace” before releasing their full length debut album Holy Intellect
Holy Intellect on Profile Records in early 1990.

Ironically the majority of Holy Intellect was produced by Tony D (RIP), who happens to be white. Contradiction, much.  Holy Intellect did earn the trio a gold plaque and a ton of critical acclaim, which PRT was able to parlayed into an additional three albums before disbanding in 1996.  Wise Intelligent is still recording and releasing albums (at least one which I’ll cover in the very far off future) even as recently as April of this year.  The guy doesn’t look like he’s aged a bit since 1990; I have a sneaking suspicion he is the real life black Benjamin Button.

Can I Start This? – This one opens with Tony D asking Wise Intelligent if he can spit some of his rhymes, to which Wise hilariously gives the approval for Tony to “kick his rubbish” on the mic. Wise, being the gentleman that he is even lets Tony bat first over his funky instrumental, dropping non-sensical rhymes, while still managing to sound slightly entertaining in the process. Wise, is up second and makes rapping sound easy while simultaneously making Tony sound like a rookie. Oh yeah, Culture Freedom gets the final first just to remind the world why he’s Robin to Wise Intelligent’s Batman. Even with Culture’s sub par contribution, it was nice to see all parties involved having fun in the process (definitely a missing quality from a lot of hip hop today). This was a nice start to the evening.

Rock Dis Funky Joint – I’ll start this off by saying Tony D’s instrumental (which samples WAR’s “Slippin Into Darkness” and James Brown’s “Funky President”) is hands down one of the top 10 hip-hop instrumental of all time. Yes.  It’s that good.  Wise sprinkles his Five Percenter tinged doctrine over, what feels like, 5 verses (which is not a complaint), riding Tony D’s instrumental like a cowboy in a saddle. And Culture Freedom?  He’s left to recite the song title during the hook and at random points during the song, which isn’t all bad since that’s the line most people will remember from this song. Even with the catchy hook and Wise’s solid performance, Tony D’s instrumental is the clear winner here.  Classic.

Strictly Ghetto – And just like that, Holy Intellect looses all its momentum.  Tony D’s instrumental sounds like what a bottle of coke would taste like after the top is left off for 2 weeks. Wise gives it the old college try, mixing boasts, his religious philosophies, and battle rhymes (even taking a shot at YZ), but still can’t manage to make this one sound good.

Holy Intellect – Okay, now this is more like it.  Tony D provides a much better instrumental than the one on the previous song. Meanwhile, I think I just had an epiphany: if you were to mix and match any of Wise’s verses on the first four songs with any of the instrumentals on the first four songs you would get the same results. That’s not meant to be a compliment or a diss, just my assessment, so take it for what its worth. And just in case you didn’t know the name of the crew you were listen to, you will by the end of this song, as Wise references “Poor Righteous Teachers” or “PRT” way too many times during this song.  I didn’t keep a running tally but it had to be somewhere in the thousands.

Shakiyla – A fly love song.  You may remember the second coming of this song from PRT’s second release Pure Poverty (“Shakiyla (JRH”)), which has a much rougher and angrier sound than it’s predecessor. For the original Tony D samples the same Zapp sample (“Be Alright”) that many other rappers would go on to borrow, but probably most famously used for 2pac’s “Keep Your Head”. Wise is in complete lover mode,  as he slows down his flow and drops some pretty nice love poetry, managing not to sound corny in the process.  This was pretty nice.

Time To Say Peace – Oh, my comment about mixing and matching the verses and instrumentals?  It applies to this one as well. The mix in of Soul II Soul “Back To Reality” towards the end was a nice touch.

Style Dropped/Lessons Taught – Culture Freedom must have had to work the night this one was recorded since Tony D fills in as resident hypeman, adding an occasional adlib here and there so the listener wouldn’t think Holy Intellect was a Wise Intelligent solo album. Over an average Tony D instrumental Wise delivers a pretty solid performance before completely obliterating the track with his final verse. Overall, this was a decent listen.

Speaking Upon A Blackman – Over a pretty fresh Tony D canvas, Wise gets on his soapbox to preach about the tricknology fed to the black man by the devil  (in Five Percenter lingo devil translates to the white man ).  Am I the only one that finds it interesting that such a pro-black group would have a devil white man produce the bulk of their album, including one titled “Speaking Upon A Blackman”? Hmm…interesting.

So Many Teachers – Wise uses this one to call out all those he perceives as false teachers, and listed the qualities that define a solid teacher as well.  Tony D’s instrumental while not great in itself works great with the content of the song (if that makes any sense).  Kudos, to Wise for sticking with a theme on this one.

Word From The Wise – The only instrumental that Tony D did not produce on Holy Intellect uses a very popular (in hip-hop at least) James Brown sample, courtesy of some dude named Eric A “I.Q.” Gray.  It was probably wise (no pun intended) to have Tony D sit out on this, so Wise’s declaration of having “no blue eyes or blonde hair”on his team could ring true, at least for the length of this song.  Wise’s tongue sounds as nimble as Cassius Clay’s feet in his hey day over this instrumental, as he “builds”, dropping some pretty insightful lyrics.  You will not catch everything Wise is relaying on the first listen (on any of the songs on Holy Intellect for that matter), as I ‘ve listened to this album several times over the years and always decode a new lyrical mystery.

Butt Naked Booty Bless – I don’t really know what they were going for on this one. It sounds like they may have been going for a dance hit that the listener would initially be drawn to by the beat, hoping the lesson in the song would sink in later.  If that was the plan they definitely weren’t successful.  That said, the song was decent.

Poor Righteous Teacher – Wise saves his best performance for last as he’s in complete battle mode and delivers 3 hungry verses over a sick Tony D instrumental. As the song fades out Culture Freedom sounds like a little brother whose big brother just knocked out the neighborhood bully on his behalf, teasing his fallen rival as he hovers over him. And cut.

Holy Intellect is a decent debut from the Trenton Trio. While only a few songs would
qualify as really good/great, the majority of the album falls in the decent to good scale, with a few outright mishaps. Wise proves that he is a more than capable emcee.  My only issue with Wise is his content rarely strays away from his five percenter rhetoric, which over the length of 12 songs tends to become redundant and sometimes, depending on my mood, annoying.  Man is full of contradictions, so I can look past the fact that the “gods” have a “devil” handling the majority of the production duties, bringing truth to the age-old adage that opposites attract.  The fact that Holy Intellect includes one of the greatest hip-hop songs off all time should hold some weight too.

-Deedub

The Cold Chillin’ imprint was a prominent label during the golden era of hip-hop. Home to many of the emcees who made up the legendary Juice Crew (which should come as no surprise since Marly Marl was the founder of the crew as well as the label), and responsible for several classic releases during that time frame.  Amongst the more notable releases, there were also a few obscure ones. Enter Grand Daddy I.U.

Hailing from Long Island, NY Grand Daddy I.U. got his break after Juice Crew member, Biz Markie was impressed after hearing his demo.  This impression would lead to I.U. doing some ghostwriting for Biz and Roxanne Shante, but more importantly, to I.U. getting his own recording deal with Cold Chillin’.  I.U. released his debut album Smooth Assassin in 1990 under Biz Markie’s tutelage, who would also produce the entire album. While Smooth Assassin didn’t move a ton of units, it was pretty well received by the heads.

After all, obscurity doesn’t alway mean inferiority.

The U Is Smooth – Daddy U starting thing off with a mellow Biz Markie instrumental that samples from the  same Grover Washington Jr. song “Hydra” that Black Moon would later utilize on “How Many Emcees”.  While the Beatminerz interpretation was a lot darker and harder, Biz’ take matches the laid back mood our host is trying to create (I love the saxophone sample added during the hook). Kudos to I.U. for being brave enough and confident enough in his own ability to start things off so subdue, and effectively living up to the song’s title.

Pick Up The Pace – As if he heard my comment on the tempo of the previous song, Biz ups the bpm’s a bit on this solid instrumental that I.U. sound right at home on. Two for two, not a bad start to tonight’s proceedings.

Something New – I don’t know if I like the instrumental (that samples James & Bobby Purify’s “I’m Your Puppet”) or if I’ve just learned to tolerate it. I do know for a fact that I absolutely hate the vocalists (Desiree Price, Toni Rolle, and Raezia Rolle) on the hook. Regardless of how I feel about the rest of the song, there is no denying I.U’s lyrical ability, which is on full display on this one.

I Kick Ass – This might be my favorite I.U. song of all time (not that there is much of a catalog to choose from, so take it for what it’s worth).From the slick instrumental, the Richard Pryor soundbites, and the lyrical dexterity shown by I.U; this one is firing on all cylinders.

Mass Destruction – Mass destruction has never sounded so beautiful as I.U. delivers another mellow blow over a smooth Biz Markie instrumental. This was sick.

Gals Dem So Hot – Uh, I think you’re smart enough to figure out what this one is about.  I.U. does pull out his raggamuffin style on this one, but that still doesn’t make it worth listen to more than once.  Next…

Girl In The Mall – Over a simple Biz Markie drum beat, Daddy U spits one long verse about a  beautiful girl named Kenya, that he met while shopping at the mall.  I.U. paints a vivid and pretty entertaining picture, even if at certain points the content reaches porn levels.  Seriously, some of I.U.’s lyrics on this one would even make 2 Live Crew blush.

Kay Cee Is Nasty – I went into this thinking this was an ode to I.U.’s deejay’s skills, but based on the soundbites laced throughout this is one it’s more of a dedication to his deejay’s sexual prowess. Weird, much.

Nobody Move – I.U. puts together a detailed story about a bank robber who’s string of crimes temporarily allow him to live like a baller, but  things quickly come crashing down as he lands himself  behind bars. Biz Markie’s instrumental is a decent backdrop for this well executed cautionary tale.

Dominos – More quality battle rhymes provided by I.U, but at this stage into Smooth Assassin they don’t hit as hard.  You can probably trace the cause of that back to the bland Biz Markie instrumental, though.

Behind Bars – Biz’s instrumental sounds like something he would rap over himself. Or better yet, something I.U. would write for Biz to rap over himself.  This kind of works as a companion piece to “Nobody Move” and would have made more sense to place it right after it in the album sequence (not that the song is good or anything, it just would have made more sense). We do get to hear Biz kick a little beatbox right before it fades out, if that’s any consolation.

Soul Touch – This was decent enough.  Wait, did he really just rhyme wrist with penis? WTF?

This Is A Recording – I.U. invites guest Ivan Rodriguez into the studio to play keys on this one, as he slows the pace down a bit and kills his adversaries so softly on the mic even Lauryn Hill would be impressed.  I.U’s comment about sampling James Brown was mildly comical and true.  This was an enjoyable listen.

Sugar Free – I believe this was the only single released from Smooth Assassin, which uses Juicy’s “Sugar Free” sample (that was also used on AZ’s only most succesful song “Sugar Hill”).  Daddy U lets invited vocalist Mary Brown carry this song, as he only contributes one verse (which includes his comical line “give me head and a whole lot of freedom”) and gives her the spotlight, which she in turn does a commendable job with (miles ahead of the atrocity the vocalist on “Something New” rendered). “Sugar Free”  was definitely created to give Smooth Assassin a commercial appeal, but it still manages to maintain some sense of street cred.

Phuck ‘Em Up U – Biz uses the same sample that was later made popular by Lil’ Kim’s “No Time”, for the instrumental, which  Daddy U uses to spit one verse before he starts giving shout outs…

Shout Outs –  That merges into this.  I personally found it interesting he waited until he was half way through his list of shout out recipients before he gives one to his baby girl and wife (whose name is curiously enough, Kenya?  Could it be the same Kenya that worked at the mall?).  There is really no justifiable reason for a song consisting of just shout outs to even exist, yet alone gon on for nearly three minutes.

For the most part,Smooth Assassin lives up to its title.  Most of Biz Markie’s production consist of smooth laid back instrumentals that I.U. uses to verbally dismantle any would be competitor. At moments some of I.U.’s boast ring hollow (especially during the songs on the latter end of the album), and a few of Biz’s beats fail him as well, but overall this was an enjoyable listen that lives up to its title.  I’m sure Lee Harvey Oswald and John Wilkes Booth would applaud I.U. for his execution on this one.

– Deedub

This is the fourth adventure in the LL Cool J series. Speaking of adventures, his previous effort (Walking With a Panther) was quite the rollercoaster ride, as Cool James attempted to satisfy everyone, which more so than not will end with mixed, if not underwhelming results, which also rings true for that effort as well.  The streets were talking.  Many thought LL had gotten too soft and weren’t sure if the emcee who stormed on the scene with “Radio” still had the fire within to produce quality music.  With his back to the wall, LL was out to prove the world wrong.  That last bit was a little overly dramatic but you get the point.

LL recruited one of the most respected hip-hip producers in the game to handle all of the production on Mama Said Knock You Out. The album was well received, both critically and commercially, as the title song earned him a Grammy for Best Rap solo, and the album went on to move over 2.5 million units, which gave Cool James enough cheese to buy his soul back from the devil.

At least, temporarily.

The Boomin’ System – By this point in his career there was absolutely no need for Cool James to waste time on an intro, and wisely he doesn’t. Instead our host jumps right into to things with a bangin’ joint dedicated to his boomin’ system (or for the ebonically challenged: his extremely loud stereo system). Marley Marl provide a sick backdrop for LL to lean back on and ride to perfection. I swear I’ve heard a mix of this song with the Heineken line unedited. If anyone has info on that, please leave proof in the comments section.

Around The Way Girl – What would an LL album be without a song dedicated to the ladies (you could argue that after Mama Said Knock You Out there wouldn’t be enough material to complete an album since the majority of his catalog after this one consisted of songs catering to his female fan base. After all, ladies love this guy). Before Mr. Smith completely sold his street cred to the pop devil, there was a time when the softer Cool James was still respected by fans with testicles. I think its safe to say this is a classic. Eventhough  “I need Love” was the O.G. of love rap songs, this was definitely the more quality of the two.

Eat Em’ Up L Chill – Mr Smith waits until the third song into the album to spit that fire all the b-boys were waiting for. Marley provides a banger of an instrumental that Uncle L completely obliterates with his magical wand. Or spike.

Mr.Good Bar – Adding to his list of aliases, our host spends the length of three verses trying to get into the object of his lust’s affection’s panties (and/or mouth). Marley’s instrumental reminds me of the one used on Kane’s “Raw”, which should come as no surprise since he produced that track as well. While LL’s rhymes and Marley’s instrumental are both technically sound, this song only registers as decent, in my opinion.

Murdergram – When your on top everybody want to knock you out. In 1990 LL was definitely a huge rap star at the pinnacle of his rap career. Over a decent Marley instrumental Mr. Smith spits a one verse wonder to remind all doubters and haters (ie Ice-T) that he still can hold his own on the microphone.  The Arsenio Hall reference made me chuckle; haven’t heard that name in a long time. Well done, Cool James.

Cheesy Rat Blues – I like to refer to this one as a modern-day Job story (as in the bible character). Over three verses LL share a story of going from riches to rags and how people change during the journey.  Marley’s instrumental works very well with Mr. Smith’s content.  I wasn’t a huge fan of this song in the past but today it worked better than I remembered it.

Farmers Blvd. (Our Anthem) – LL gives the homies from his old neighborhood a chance to get on the mic. After he uses the first verse to explain the concept of this song, he then steps a side to let his old pals, Bomb, Big Money Grip, and Hi-C (although the liner notes list him as “HIC”, and it’s not the same Hi-C that rolled with DJ Quik’s crew) each get a verse to show the world why they never were able to establish successful careers as rappers. To add insult to injury, LL returns for the final verse and spits one of his weaker performance on the album, but it’s still sounds miles ahead of his invited guests.  I’m assuming Marley knew what LL’s boys would sound like on the mic and didn’t want to waste one of his good beats on a song that would be ignored by most listeners after one listen, thus the stale instrumental provided. This was very skippable.

Mama Said Knock You Out – This is LL’s biggest hit without question, and rightfully so.  While LL does a good job of “beating the beat like a skull”, Marley’s instrumental is the real star on this one (I love the eerie choir chant vocal sample spread throughout the song). Classic.  If you don’t know you better ask somebody.

Milky Cereal – This might be one of the more clever song concepts in Cool James’ lengthy catalog. He spins a cereal metaphor throughout three verses describing his lady friends Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms, and Pebbles, who each get a verse.

Jingling Baby (Remixed But Still Jingling) – The original version was included on Walking With a Panther. LL’s uses the same lyrics as the original mix but Marley’s instrumental gets a complete makeover and accomplishes exactly what a remix should:make the song sound better. Nice.

To The Break Of Dawn – Many may have forgotten (or never knew) that Mr. Smith has had quite a few beefs with his contemporaries throughout the years. Way before his feud with Canibus (or Jay-Z) LL was at war with Kool Moe Dee, Hammer, and Ice-T, and they each get a verse on this one, and each of them gets ripped a new asshole in the process (with Ice T getting the worst of his wrath as he walk away with a dook shoot the size of the Grand Canyon). LL might of lost the battle with Canibus (which is open to debate) but he definitely murdered the burnt-up french fry, his old gym teacher, and the hip-hop racoon on this one.

6 Minutes Of Pleasure – After committing three counts of premeditated murder on the previous track, Mr. Smith get back in touch with his sensitive side and provides another one for the ladies. After all, the ladies love Cool James. Marley’s instrumental was enjoyable which may or may not allow you to look past LL’s lazy rhymes on this one.

Illegal Search – This is dedicated to the po-po trying to lock a brother up out of spite and jealously. Oh, and because some of them are racists. Marley’s New-Jack swing instrumental was bearable, but LL’s smooth wordplay was the real winner on this one.

The Power Of God – Um, yeah. Nice sentiment but poor execution. And G is the 7th letter made, just in case you didn’t know.

It’s amazing to me how a chip on a man’s shoulder can bring out the best in him. Mama Said Knock You Out is without question LL’s finest hour and most complete album to date (I say this with confidence, even though I haven’t listened to any of his albums at length after 14 Shots to the Dome, but have heard enough from each of them to stand firm on that statement. I do own them all, though, so stay tuned).  There are a few bumps in the road but LL’s undeniable microphone abilities coupled with Marley Marl’s chiseled production, for the majority of the journey, lessen the discomfort of the minor potholes. Kind of bitter-sweet as Mama Said Knock You Out kind of marks the beginning of the end for the hungry LL that still had street cred.  When they reminisce over you, my God.

-Deedub

For those of you following (chronologically) at home, insert this one after Ice-T’s The Iceberg/Freedom Of Speech album.

Seminar is the second and only album from Seattle bred rapper Sir Mix-A-Lot that I own.  I’ve never heard this album in its entirety, but I do remember a few of the songs from this album. So, when I recently ran across this at the local used book store for a buck, I figured I’d splurge a little.

Sir Mix-A-Lot will forever be known as the rapper that created “Baby Got Back,” a rap song so popular even catholic monks are familiar with it, and nuns worldwide can recite the lyrics verbatim at karaoke. Most of the world doesn’t know (or doesn’t remember) the man released two albums prior to Mack Daddy that were both pretty successful in their own right.  His debut album Swass (which is an acronym for “Some Wild Ass Silly Shit”) was released in 1989 on Rick Rubin’s Def American Recordings label (that he formed after leaving the Def Jam empire he help build) and went on to earn himself a platinum plaque, largely do to the hit single “My Posse On Broadway.” Like “Baby Got Back,” “My Posse” was also a catchy, playful, unthreatening rap song that maintained its street cred, though it never hit as big as the former. Mix-A-Lot returned in 1989 and released Seminar, which went on to earn a gold plaque to sit next to his platinum. Like Swass, the success of Seminar was largely based on a few songs in the same vein as “BGB,” that will get to a little later.

Props to Mix-A-lot for writing, producing, and programming the entire album. 

Maybe I should listen to the album before I hand out props.

Seminar – Mix-A-Lot waste no time getting the title song out of the way. Over a simple but effective uptempo instrumental, he’s out to prove that Seattle can hold it down on the mic, and for the most part he succeeds.  More importantly though, I discovered where one of the vocal samples from his biggest hit (“Baby Got Back”) came from  (“little in the middle but she got much back”).  Decent start to the evening’s proceedings.

Beepers – This is an ode to the now obsolete art of using skypagers (aka beepers) to mack on the opposite sex.  Long before everyone the age of twelve and older owned a cellphone, there was a time when pagers were the trendy way of communicating.  Looking back, the whole concept of some one beeping your pager with their phone number to call them back, seems kind of ridiculous, especially when you’re talking about 15 and 16 years old kids using them and not doctors or lawyers.  Thank you cellphone for killing off “those big old 6″ garage door openers”.

National Anthem – Mix-A-Lot was never known as a conscious rapper, but he does an effective job expressing his issues with the government and other societal injustices.  Too bad his instrumental sucked.

My Hooptie – To break up the tension created by the previous song, Sir Lot provides us with a little comic relief in the form of this ode to crappy cars. I haven’t heard this one in years and it still makes me chuckle listening to Mix A Lot do an awesome job painting a visual of the vehicle that everyone has seen, rode shotgun in, or even worst, owned.  It’s still funny to hear him describe a chick with junk in the trunk as having “immense posterior”.  This song sounds like something Will Smith would have done back when he was still referred to as Fresh Prince. Very clever concept and well executed, Sir Lot.

Gortex – For those who don’t know, Gor-Tex is waterproof fabric used to waterproof outdoor clothing and boots. I’ve always been a fan of Timberland boots and remember falling in love with some of the Gor-Tex insulated timbos back in the day. There is no question that Timberland was the boot of choice for hip-hop heads back in the early to mid-ninties. Oh, the song?  It sucked much.

The (Peek -A-Boo) Game – Things are progressively getting worse.

I Got Game –  What would a hip-hop album be without flossing and boasting? That’s exactly what Mix A Lot does on this one. Mix A Lot provides a decent funk instrumental to spit his F&B rhymes over and does a serviceable job on the microphone. We also discover the source of another vocal sample from “Baby Got Back” (“L.A. face with an Oakland booty”) on this track. Hey, that rhymed. I’m a poet and didn’t even know it.  Well actually I did, but…

I’ll Roll You Up – This is Mix-A-Lot’s version of a battle rap.  Sir Lot proves he can deliver clever punch lines (the reference to the old video game Pong was slightly amusing), even if his flow sounds a bit sloppy at times. I’d be willing to overlook the sloppy deliver if his instrumental for this one wasn’t trash.

Something About My Benzo – He showed love to his hooptie earlier, so now that his Benz its out the shop, it’s only right that it gets love as well.  Mix-A-Lot invites a few uncredited guests into the studio to brag about their Benz as well. Not great or terrible, but it falls somewhere in the middle of the two.

My Bad Side – Through the course of Seminar we’ve seen a glimpse of Mix-A-Lot the comedian, the conscious rapper, the activist, the player, and now…the gangsta rapper? I know right? You can stop laughing now.  The visual image of Mix A Lot’s line about dropping an opponent with a round house kick is hi-larious. And with that, this one’s a wrap.

After listening to Seminar in its entirety for the first time, I can’t say that it was life changing, nor can I say that I enjoyed it for that matter.  It was cool to reminisce over  “Beepers” and “My Hooptie,” back to a time before innocence was lost (both mine and hip-hop’s…well, at least hip-hop’s. Mine was probably gone way before then). There are a few other songs that were decent finds (but not jewels), and being the trivia buff that I am, it was nice to discover vocal samples that were used on one of the most popular rap songs of all-time. But when only half of your album is worth listening to, the results can’t be good, which is the fate that Seminar ultimately meets.

Maybe Mix A Lot could get a few more dollars out of his fans by releasing a greatest hits album.  Better make that an EP.

-Deedub